Today In African-American Race Relations

Now, I realize I'm the wrong skin color for much of what follows, but seeing as that's never really stopped me before... let's take these in order.

1) Esquire magazine decides to publicize the opinion that the NBA is filled with thugs, because Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittendon showed unloaded guns to each other in a locker room following a gambling welch, which is probably going to wind up getting Arenas suspended and end Crittendon's career, such as it is

> Hey, Gun Owners! Why aren't you manning the barricades and protesting Arenas's lost Second Amendment rights here? Might it be because... um... you only really like guns when you are the people holding them, and to a lesser extent, people who are white? Or am I missing something?

> Had this been, say, Troy Murphy and Mike Dunleavy in Indiana (whiter than white, naturally), is it still a story? Is it ever a story? And aren't those fine folk from the NRA more interested in the protection of rights?

> If there's any way for the Wizards to get out of Gilbert's horrible contract from this event, aren't they giving Crittendon a lifetime role in the organization as thanks?

2) Vanity Fair runs OJ-esque cover photo of Shirtless Scary Tiger Woods.

> I keep trying to avoid saying anything Le Tigre, since it combines two things the blog tries not to concern itself with -- The Not Sport of Golf and The Further Not Sport Of Tabloid Twittery -- but great googly moogly, does thinking about this man cause people to lose their fool minds? First you had Brit Hume on Faux News using the event to go on a Jesus Kicks Buddha's Ass rant, then VF has to put him on next month's cover, looking like he's auditioning for the musical revival of "The Wire."

> What kind of Evil Jedi Powers does photographer Annie Liebovitz have? First it was getting Miley Cyrus to peel and go statutory, and now we've got the only thing that Tiger's soon-to-be ex-wife will have to show in court to get every penny she wants. Well played, Eldrick.

> Independent of the news value of Scary Washboard Ab Black Man, doesn't this just kind of denigrate humanity as a whole as a species, let alone show VF's true colors as a desperate rag who will play the racial fear card to sell magazines? And finally, how many more straight days does this get Eldrick on the cover of the New York Post?

3) The Redskins are looking to hire Mike Shanahan, having already taken care of their "Rooney Rule" obligation by interviewing an unknown assistant a week ago

> I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that (a) black people don't really care who coaches the Redskins, since that would make them just like every other race on the planet, and (b) if they do hold an opinion, it's something along the line of relief, in that while brothers need jobs, no one needs *that* job, and that boss.

> Though it would be some kind of poetic / mirror thing that once the Presidency became such a crappy job that a black man could have it, so would being the Redskins coach.

> And yes, I know, Theoretically Still Existing Redskin Fan, Terry Robiskie minded the store for the last three games in 2000. I'll see that and raise you Ray Rhodes, who had some good times with my laundry before it all went to hell.

Finally, I'd like to thank Barack Obama for getting elected and making this a post-racial country. Thanks, Barack!