Thursday, January 14, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Why God Hates The Clippers

This was supposed, by the way, in a few different Twitter feeds today that, with the news the rookie #1 pick Blake Griffin was going to miss the entire year due to injury. So what has led the Almighty to forsake fans of the Clip Show?

10) Rumor has it that the arena they play in is haunted by the spirit of an anal rapist

9) When His basketball servant, Larry Brown, leaves a franchise, it gets left hard

8) The Lord is really developing a taste for Bill Simmons' tears

7) Drafting Benoit Benjamin *and* Michael Olowokandi makes them unwelcome in His sight

6) It's all part of an elaborate, modern-day retelling of the Job parable

5) The karmic penalty for leaving Buffalo Fan behind is eternal

4) The prayers of all of owner Donald Sterling's slumlord tenants count more than those of Clipper Fan, just on the numbers

3) Griffin's soul sale to the Devil for his college career and hops rankled

2) From all evidence, the Lord only seems to have eyes for the Lakers and Celtics

1) Good taste

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