Bengals - Jets Notes: First Half

> Gosh, awkward and unfunny banter with Charles Barkley. The NBC heads can take the life out of anyone, can't they? To be fair, the Chuck Wagon is not usually awake at this hour.

> Joe Theismann and Joe Gibbs are your mouth jobbers du jour today. And this all I've got to say about that.



> So far today, NBC has had Jets QB Mark Sanchez being cold, and being able to "only watch" as the Bengals take the field. I smell a theme!

> Bengals KR Bernard Scott takes it into field goal range, but the drive ends as WR Laverneaus Coles puts it on the ground on what would have been a first down. Just a minute into the game, and Bengal Fan is Concerned. But on the bright side, their starting QB isn't crippled or anything, so they've seen worse. After more commerce -- and lo, There Will Be Commerce -- Marvin Lewis challenges for no really good reason, and we now have officially the slowest opening minute of NFL playoff history, with three ad breaks due to an injury, turnover, and replay challenge. Yay, Football! The refs confirm the call, and Joe Idiots say the challenge was worth it. Andy Reid's got nothing on Joe Idiot.

> The Jets pick up a first down on a nice play action play to TE Dustin Keller, and Sanchez looks like an NFL QB and everything. That Jets pick makes me feel smart now! The drive ends with Bad Wildcattery causing a delay of game from Brad Smith not being, well, a QB, and on 3rd and 13, Sanchez throws a nothing screen to Smith, as Bengal Muppet Nose Tackle Domata Peko celebrates. A bizarrely bad punt by Jets emergency punter Jay Feely is returned by Bengals short man Rico Murray, and wow, that's a huge deal. Bengals start in Jets territory again. I hate my Jets pick.

> RB Ced Benson finds a big hole to put it field position. QB Carson Palmer looks horrible and misses high, but then finds Coles, who holds on to it this time. Boy, I'm not liking the Bengal passing game, especially when Joe Idiot tells me Palmer is mobile. Third WR Andre Caldwell give up his body on another high throw, but the Jets challenge and win, and Joe Idiots can't tell Rex Ryan apart from Buddy Ryan. Gosh, and to think that the Skins didn't go well in Gibbs' most recent coaching experience: he thinks bad challenges are good, and 75-year-old men are indistinguishable from their sons. I have no words. The drive ends with Palmer finding Coles on a surprisingly easy out for the touchdown, and wow, that's big for these offenses. Bengals 7, Jets 0.

> The Jets get a quick first down on another decent throw from Sanchez to WR Jericho Cotchery, then RB Shonn Greene finds a big hole to put it in Bengal territory for the first time today. A dangerous screen to WR Braylon Edwards loses yards. The utterly useless Tiki Barber needs to babble about heated Jets equipment, not that anyone cares, and Bad Wildcattery to Smith gets nothing. On 3rd and 11, Sanchez is behind the open Keller, who could have caught a tip ball, and Feely actually makes a tolerable 37 yard punt with no return.

> Benson with a heady run as he avoids putting a knee on the ground. An out is telegraphed, and on third and three, the Jets defense gets off the field as Caldwell can't hold on to a crossing route. Yes, the Bengals are avoiding Darelle Revis. A Cotchery fair catch sets up the Jets in decent field goal position.

> A false start is followed by two meh runs, but Sanchez has all day and a wide open Cotchery for a first down, and another bad challenge by Lewis happens. Sanchez also forced the replay flag with a hurry-up sneak, and that's just nifty by the rookie. The Bengals now can't challenge for the rest of the game; that can't possibly come back to haunt them! Sanchez has all day for a deep ball to Edwards, but there's a reason why Edwards is, well, terrible; that's seven points through his hands. Awful. Say this for Sanchez; he's looked good so far today. The quarter ends on a nifty Green run, and the Bengals up by seven.

> Cincy blitzes and gets a batted ball to stop the drive, and Feely punts it to the 6; really, that's everything you could ask for from the emergency kicker. Benson gets five with the offensive line looking good. On second, the RB avoids pressure to get a few more. Third and two is one more give, but it doesn't work, and that will take some of the air of Ced's running average. Cotchery makes an odd hand motion that's almost, but not quite, a fair catch, and the Jets will start at midfield. If this were not a playoff game, or you aren't a fan of the laundry, I can't imagine you'd be entertained by this.

> RB Thomas Jones with a nice big run on first; and then Greene takes a misdirection pitch to the house. Great execution by the Jets, most notably Keller in space for the block, and Greene shows very nice quicks to get to the end zone. I love my Jets pick! Bengals 7, Jets 7.

> Feely's short kickoff is bobbled by Scott, who only gets to the 28. Joe Idiot hypes the Eagles game by putting everything on Donovan McNabb. DEEP HURTING. Coles drops a wayward first down ball, then Palmer misses an open Caldwell, but Revis is called for a a terrible call on what should be offensive pass interference. That's the kind of judgment call that the zebras would bring back on replay. Benson twitches to cost them five. Coles catches a floater on Revis, who might be shifting to Coles just to stay awake, and gets 13. Benson through another nice hole for 13, and they are in Jet territory. For two teams with good offensive line blocking, you'd expect more than two touchdowns, right?

> Another false start, then Palmer triple pumps to backup WR Quan Cosby for seven yards. Benson doesn't go very far, and it's a field goal third play as Joe Idiots talk about offensive line asses. DEEP HURTING. Palmer finally throws a deep ball to WR Chad Ochocinco, and Revis inhales it for the pick. That's the second Bengals turnover, and the Defensive Player of the Year candidate brings it back to the Jets 43. Yes, I'd avoid him if I were a QB.

> Jones for two, then a draw that fools no one, but Sanchez makes another good third down throw to Cotchery on a slant for the first down. The next play is a rollout by Sanchez to Keller for a huge touchdown where the TE walks the wire and stays in bounds, and even Lewis wanted to challenge, he can't due to those Two Worthwhile Decisions that are Joe Idiot Endorsed. DEEP HURTING.

> The short Feely kickoff is helped immensely by a post-whistle flag on the Bengals, and Coles may be out with a thumb problem. I love my Jets pick! Benson for a few on a run, then five more on a check down that didn't exactly inspire confidence. On third and two, the Jets blitz and fall back, and Palmer shows surprising quicks to get the firs down, but the play is irrelevant as Revis is nicked for another flag. Coles also returns, so there's hope for the home team. After a lot of pre-snap changes, Palmer gives to Benson for little, and the Joes actually can talk knowledgeably about the audible. Glad I was sitting down or that. Cincy's last timeout of the half is used with 3:37 left in the half, and wow, the home team is not inspiring confidence here. Palmer finds Benson just before getting hammered. On third and five with three minutes left in the half, Palmer is smashed and stripped, and the Bengals are extremely lucky to recover the fumble. Had the Jets recovered tht ball, I think this game was looking over. Jets LB Bart Scott goes down on the play, which allows for Joe Idiot blathering. DEEP HURTING. DEEP HURTING... The Bengals get a big punt, Cotchery has a decent return, and the Jets start at their own 40.

> How aggressive will Ryan be with a lead? Not very at all, as three runs go nowhere, but Cincy's lack of timeouts means that the Jets won't punt until there are just 34 seconds left in the half. Feely continues his improbably useful half with a punt that's all net, and the Bengals just run it to end the half. It's Jets 14, Bengals 7, and I Feel So Smart.