Free At Last, Free At Last, Thank God Almighty...

H/t to Awful Announcing, who had the courage to read the Wall Street Journal so that I didn't have to...

For the past six years, the company has been running a well-received series of ads for its "Chunky" soup that feature National Football League greats and their mothers calling them inside for dinner and serving them soup.

But starting with this NFL season, those moms will be riding the bench. The reason for the change? Campbell Soup says its new research has revealed that the company's target consumers -- men in their 30s -- are finally achieving soup independence.

The new campaign, dubbed "Working Day," features San Diego Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson. In one of the series of five ads, which debut when the NFL season kicks off on Sept. 4, Mr. Tomlinson is shown in action on the field as a voice-over describes his job in blue-collar terms.

"Another grueling day on the job," the ad begins. "You're dying to get out of those work clothes. You're hungry. You take a can of Chunky soup. You think about your day. Was I productive? Did I do right by my boss?"

The size of Eagle Fan's heart for Number Five grew three sizes on this day; yes, we did all hate those ads that much, especially in close correlation to Don's tendency to actually blow Chunky chunks in big games. (And yes, you are right to want to throw all marketing people into the tenth circle of Hell for phrases like "soup independence.")