Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Tom Landry Died Without Ever Having Really Lived

NBX.com, the site that shows you just how much you could lose in real sports gambling, is back with another blogtastic contest.

We like to join these things, because they show how we're Important Members of the Sports Blogosphere. (Heh heh. He said member.)

Anyway, this one's for MLB, and it has two big advantages over the last go-around:

1) I pretend to know something about MLB, and

2) Dave "Smoke" Stewart is lending his name to it, making it the first time I've ever had a connection with someone whose bobblehead is in my basement, being an ex-A's season ticket holder. Little Stew spends his days shaking off Jason Kendall and intimidating the bugs in the crawl space. Or maybe he's just got Tourrette's. We'll never know, because he ain't talking.

Smoke also posts at NBX.com, and he warmed the cockles of my heart a month ago by basically calling Roger Clemens a pussy. Given how many times he kicked sand in Roger's face back in the late '80s, I think he's earned the right.

Oh, and also, because the truth is always a defense. Roger Clemens *is* a pussy.

Anyway, here are our first three picks of the year. Wager at your peril, you degenerates.

Mariners over Red Sox -- Take your chalk and shove it.The first start for Dice-K in Boston could be jittery, and coming off a crushing blowout, the Sox may think it's coming too easy. They'll learn that King Felix is not Jeff Weaver. (Can someone -- anyone -- tell me why Jeff Weaver is still in MLB? Does he have photos or something? He makes Fat Sid Ponson's career look explicable.)

Cardinals-Pirates over -- Adam Wainwright is just OK, and the odor of Pat Maholm attracts stray animals for over 100 yards. The Cards break out of their offensive stink and the teams combine to beat the 8 number, especially after tonight's 12 innings of bleah.

White Sox over A's - The A's always stink in April, and they usually make Mark Buerhle look way too good. Add in the more than lingering distrust for Joe Kennedy, and the usual mid-week crowd of budget hot dog eaters at the A's Wednesday matinee, and it's a bad scene for the home team. Sox with the win. (Mmm. Cheap quasi-meat....)

P.S. Cards and Pirates strand 26 (!) baserunners in a 9-inning game, witnessed by a crowd numbering in the several. Cards win 3-2, and Poo Holes continues to metamorphose into 2005 Todd Helton. (That sound you just heard was A Holes' fantasy owners smacking themselves. Hard.)

1 comment:

Steven Gomez said...

Man, I hope you're right about Felix... even though unavoidable circumstances at school will force me to miss this epic matchup.