Bring In Costanza

After two solid weeks of trying to do this the right way, it's time to go the other way. That's right, folks, I'm pulling a Costanza on these MLB picks. Bet the house on 'em.

Twins over MARINERS - King Felix has been dominant. He's at home. Carlos Silva is eminently hittable. The Twins aren't a good road team. We're eating cereal tonight! 1,000 to win 1,730 on the road dogs.

PADRES over DBacks. Brandon Webb is the reigning Cy Young winner. David Wells looks like he ate Cy Young, Cliff Young, and Michael Young. The Snakes are off to a hot start. The Pads are still getting over the loss of (gulp) Dave Roberts. I'm feeling like five bucks, and sharing needles with homeless guys. We're brothers! Take the Pods! 1,000 to win 1,070 on the Pods.

TIGERS over Royals. Jeremy Bonderman faces Gil Meche at home. Why is this a Constanza moment? Because I drafted Bonderman, who's getting no run support this year. So why not go with the Royals? Because that's what the world *wants* me to do, see? It's too easy! The old double-bluff! You fell for a classic blunder! Never engage a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha Ha! (falls over)

Season to date: 10-13-1, down $3K.