It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Item: The Golden State Warriors, who have not made the playoffs since 1994, are very close to clinching a spot.

Truly, I write today of things which must shortly come to pass;

And I beheld when the Prodigal Nellie had returned to the State of Gold, and, lo, there was a great earthquake named Biedrins; and the sun became as black as the hopes of those who rooted for either Spree or PJ,

and the moon became as dumb as the contract that Adonal doth signed

And the stars of other teams fell unto their knees, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, though to be honest, there's just not that much call for figs anymore

And the Pacific Division departed from sense and reason when it is rolled together, and the ancient Northwestern powers fell into such stupidity and disrepair that there had to be copious amounts of Paul Allen

The first angel sounded, and gave them an actual point guard, albeit one who could be injured in the stiffeth of breezes;

And the second angel poured out his vial upon the sea, and threw down hard, and spoke thusly, saying I am J-Rich, and this is what I doeth;

and the third angel shot his guns in the air like he just don't care, because, verily, this is what SJax doeth,

and the fourth angel poured out his array of ball-hogging shots, and power was given unto him to scorch men with fire, because Harrington is, verily, a Streaketh Shootereth,

and gamblers were scorched with great heat.

And the fifth angel, Montaeth, is but a babe, and knows not that this isn't going to work out for him here, but that he will wind up being Gilbert Arenas Two, Apocalytpic Boogaloo

And there were voices, and thunders, and lightnings, and there was a great earthquake, such as not since people like Kurt Cobain and Nicole Brown Simpson trod the earth

and the East Bay rose as one voice in a sound not unliketh a group shrug of "Huh. Finally."

And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found

And then there fell upon these minor angels a great hail out of Phoenix or Dallas, every contest bitter, as this minor miracle was swepeth from thine eyes, ending an overly long and ultimately pointless exercise, be-eth the season oreth this Posteth.

The grace of this blog be with you all. Amen.