Cut and Run

Ed. Note: These picks were made in a hurry, the night before a minor surgical procedure (why yes, I am getting my tubes tied, thanks for asking). So if they betray an even greater edge of thrill-seeking nihilism, you'll know why. Bet your life!

DODGERS over Padres. David Wells is fat. And old. Derek Lowe is neither of these things, and he also likes to play with himself when striking out Terence Freaking Long looking to end the A's season. Go with self-play over fatty, and Jerk over Idiot. (It's kind of like rock-paper-scissors.)

A'S over Yanks. Dan Haren's solid, and Kei Igawa looks like the kind of scared nibbler that will crap the bed for a month or two before he figures out he doesn't have to be perfect. The game's in Oakland, which will actually help Igawa more than being in the Bronx right now, but the A's will scratch out a win.

Rays over TWINS. Bet against The Great Santana at home? Yes, but only in April, for a big time moneyline, and with a bounce-backing Scott Kazmir. Besides, the rumor mill has Santana getting into contract extension talks with the Twins, and that kind of thing can make people try too hard (see Zambrano, Fat).

P.S. 3-0, baby, and now in 4th in the contest. Haren didn't outduel Igawa, but everything else went according to plan.

Season to date: 5-3