Top 11 Takeaways From Lakers-Celtics Game One

11) Since Phil Jackson's teams have never lost a series when they won Game One, the rest of this seris does not need to be played

10) Kobe Bryant has such Incredible Willpower, he can even ignore Chris Rock during a game -- something no other player in the history of the Association could do

9) When double technicals happen in the first minute of a game, this means that there is Defensive Intensity, rather than overactive refs

8) Since Pau Gasol had a double-double in a home game, it is no longer legally allowable to think he is soft

7) When Lamar Odom is calmed down by Ron Artest, we can pretty much forget the whole "Artest is a ticking time bomb" meme

6) The fact that Kevin Garnett no longer seems able to catch, jump or dunk, and that he had 4 more boards in 35 more minutes than a dead man, might be a small problem for the Celtics

5) Over 28% of the points scored in this game were free throws, and the Celtics had the lead once

4) We might have been a little premature with that whole "Rajon Rondo is a Hall of Famer" idea, since 13-6-8 doesn't exactly scream out Immortality

3) The NBA's decision to give both teams three months off before the series had nothing to do with the ragged and ugly nature of this game

2) There is no truth to the rumor that watching this game has made legendary 99-year-old coach John Wooden ready to shed the mortal coil

1) This utter snoozefest of a game shows that, no matter what, Lakers-Celtics is the only NBA Finals that anyone wanted to see, or that anyone should ever see