Top 10 reasons why Kyle Boller is marrying Carrie Prejean

(And if you don't know who these people are... third-rate back-up NFL QB who is on his third team in Oakland, and the Red State hairdo who made headlines by coming out against gay marriage as a pageant contestant.)

10) He's got love for hacky bloggers who are using fourth-rate tabloid gossip fodder as a way to fill the blog hole during the Dead Time (Thanks, Kyle!)

9) Fairly sure that he can't overthrow those, but willing to try

8) The pre-nup includes a mandatory reality show

7) She makes for a mighty convincing beard

6) Liked her hustle and timing on that sex tape

5) She doesn't care that he's a laughingstock

4) Like many well-paid white guys who depend on black people to protect their well-being, wants to marry Republican

3) Absolutely certain that he'll remain the smart one in the relationship

2) After what Ray Lewis did to him in the showers in Baltimore, just wants to be with anyone that makes him feel pretty

1) The kids are going to have incredible physical gifts, unrealistic expectations, unresolved rage issues and enough money to change identities at age 18