Top 10 Celtic Plans For Game Four

10) When the ref calls them for a foul they do not agree with, they will walk away from the official while doing a leisurely skipping jig, rather than their usual fast Marvin the Martin "I'm Angry, So Very Very Angry" power stomp

9) Paul Pierce to add brief baritone arias to his flops, to increase the likelihood that the ref will notice them

8) Celtic Fans to assert, in chant form, that the greater municipality of the Lakers generates good mouth pressure on intake, which is news that should utterly devastate the frail Laker psyche

7) Team to bribe World Wide Lemur announcer / hack Mark Jackson to deepen his voice even more for pre-commercial Celtic highlights, to increase their feelings of manliness

6) Will provide the Lakers with "special" food and water

5) Team will inform Mr. Stern to tell the refs that without a Game Four win, they will make sure to avoid "extra games" in LA

4) If Ray Allen is 0-for-13 again in Game Four, Doc Rivers is going to give serious thought to drawing up must-make play calls for someone else late in the game

3) Will bathe Big Baby Davis in a potent mixture of skunk extract, mace and mustard gas, so that he finally has enough room to finish near the basket (aka the Adrian Dantley Gambit)

2) Double Rasheed Wallace's salary, but only if he actually uses his low-post and passing game

1) Instead of risking only one aging star to the horrors of the Lazarus Pit, will submerge all members of the "Big Three"