Top 10 Laker Strategies for Game Six

10) Have Pau Gasol's head drained, or his backbone re-spined

9) Remind the team that they are (a) coached by Phil Jackson, and (b) have won Game One, so it's impossible for them to lose the series

8) Let more than one player take shots

7) Arrange for coordinated crowd chants that tell the Celtics that their municipal region removes liquid, since such knowledge will likely confuse or cripple them with shame

6) Remind the Celtics and the refs that All-Father Stern wants the full schedule of ratings-generating events

5) Let the air out of the tires of Paul Pierce's Magic Wheelchair

4) Tell Lamar Odom that he can only have candy if he's very, very good

3) Trick the refs into thinking that Kendrick Perkins and Rasheed Wallace have one fewer technical than they both have, so that they can actually be called for them

2) Inject Kevin Garnett with cells from his Game One body

1) Use film, statistics, and psychotropic drugs to convince their bench players that Big Baby Davis, Nate Robinson and Wallace are not, in fact, the reincarnation of Charles Barkley, Tiny Archibald and Bill Walton