Top 10 pro football off-season takeaways

10) Despite the best efforts of that nice Mr. Dungy, Bad Things continue to happen around Michael Vick

9) The Chris Henry autopsy showed that he died with brain damage, proving that you can damage even the things that you don't use very often

8) The Panthers' Steve Smith discovered that you can get seriously hurt playing flag football, and even better, you can get out of training camps and the pre-season

7) DeSean Jackson's contract extension has made no progress, despite the presence of the completely modest, professional and inconspicuous agent Drew Rosenhaus

6) Jake Delhomme earned the starting nod in Cleveland, and will be paid a combined $20 million between the Panthers and Browns, proving that opportunities in life can be abundant indeed

5) LaDanian Tomlinson got a Jets tattoo, which totally proves that he and the Jets are going steady

4) Steelers RT Willie Colon suffered a season-ending injury, which just means you should push Byron Leftwich up in your fantasy football rankings, since he'll now have to scramble for 1,000 yards, instead of, well, 10

3) Lawrence Taylor was indicted on charges of rape against a 16-year-old girl, costing him the goodwill of well over a dozen of his fans

2) The UFL expanded by two teams, giving the league two more markets to not draw or matter

1) Albert Haynesworth became the favorite Redskin of all Redskin haters