Top 10 World Cup Takeaways

10) Given that they are living up to every stereotype as a bunch of crying, quitting drama queens, perhaps the French shouldn't have cheated to beat the Irish and make the tournament

9) The New Zealand fans are so excited by today's tie against Italy, they are going to get heroically drunk, rathern than medicinally drunk

8) Now that Brazil are not only talented on offense, but good on defense and exceptional at thugging and flopping, they really do look the team to beat... with a hammer

7) A Nigerian player received a red card against Greece and over 1,000 death threats, which proves how much more Grecian Soccer Fan wants this

6) The U.S.-Slovenia match drew a record TV rating for ESPN, because people just can't get enough of Slovenia

5) If you have Gonzalo Higuain in your World Cup roto league, you desperately need to get a life

4) The leading assist man in the tournament is a Brazilian named Kaka, who will be suspended for the team's next game due to two yellow cards, and whose name will always make American viewers snicker like Beavis and Butthead

3) For the most part, in an unprecented development, the Africans have been subjugated, downtrodden and destitute

2) The North Korean players are about a week away from a thoroughly predictable arranged death

1) If you haven't been driven insane by the vuvezelas by now, you probably never will