Lakers - Celtics Game Six: Yet Another Not Very Good Game

With Laker Fan roaring their nervous approval, Ron Artest hits a leading three, and Derek Fisher anticipates a terrible Kendrick Perkins pass for a steal and layup. Kevin Garnett misses, Andrew Bynum boards, but Garnett with a steal. A Paul Pierce three misses, but Ray Allen gets the long board over a suspiciously flat-footed Bynum. Allen misses a catch and shoot, but so does Fisher. Allen gets a layup with a foul over Fisher, and it's tied again. Pau Gasol has the home court patience to ball fake and go inside for a shooting foul and one make. Allen finally gets a three off a Garnett screen. Kobe answers with a mid-range jumper for the tie. Gasol blocks Perkins, and Kobe overdrives but somehow avoids the turnover for an eventual make. Celtics run after the basket, eventually leading to Fisher's second foul on Rondo. Shannon Brown in for Fisher.

Allen misses a three, and Bryant makes a line drive jumper over Rondo. Lakers by four and feeling it. Artest with a steal and Gasol drives and finishes for the 8-0 Laker run. Rondo misses and Perkins falls as Bynum picks up his second, going over the top. Call for the Paul Pierce Magic Wheelchair! But seriously, if Perkins is really hurt, the series changes a *lot*, in much the same way that the series has changed with Bynum getting hurt. Having said that... Perkins is a Celtic. Short of shattering a fetlock and being shot on the court, you just can't trust any injury to be real. Perkins is helped off to the locker room with what might be a knee issue. Rasheed Wallace in.

Garnett hits a key jumper to stop the run. Bryant makes a ridiculous three near the end of the clock. Garnett off a high-low screen for a tough layup. Testy drives and spins in a jumper, and the lead is seven. Pierce misses on good Testy pressure, and Gasol outfoxes Rondo for the board. Gasol sells a Wallace foul on a Testy miss to keep the ball. Testy stripped and fouls, and while it's nice that he's playing confident, it's not nice if he overhandles it. Tony Allen in and misses, and Testy makes another corner three to make the lead 10. Big shots. Rondo with a crazy miss as the Lakers answer with shaky ballhandling. Bryant misses at the end of the clock, and Pierce settles things with a key floater. Gasol works on Garnett and gets a call on Pierce. Whether the Celtics don't want this game or the Lakers are just this much better from their role players feeling comfortable at home, it's looking very much like Game 7 to me.

Big Baby Davis and Lamar Odom in for the last two minutes of the quarter. Bryant misses on a drive, playing more like a point guard tonight. That's a compliment. Pierce turned by Bryant. Testy with an ugly drive and miss on Pierce, but Gasol boards and scores, and he's got 6-5-3 in the first quarter. Huge turnaround. Pierce misses on Testy pressure. Sheed pulls the chair on Gasol for a turnover. The Cs hold for their terrible final possession offense, and this time it's Nate Robinson fumbling the ball like it's coated with butter, not getting it off before the horn. Lakers by 10 after the first, 28-18.

Not to be a Laker fan here -- honestly, I'd like both of these teams to contract ebola -- but that quarter contained actual flow and basketball-like moments. Kudos to the refs for allowing a game to happen. Bryant with 11-1-1 in the first, but it was much more in the flow of the offense.

Good Laker defense ends with a Sheed miss from the arc. Sasha Vujacic enters the game and makes, and if the Laker bench is going to play well, that's another big change. Allen makes to get to 10 points himself; what a roller coaster he's been on. Jordan Farmar misses, but Bynum looks alive and forces Davis to tip it out. Odom catches, shoots and scores, and that was pretty, too. Robinson does something ridiculous -- alley oop? jumper? attempt to break the backboard? -- and the Lakers get it back. Volleyball on the offensive boards stays out, and Robinson emerges and gets a Vujacic foul. Davis misses badly on Bynum pressure from the key. Vujacic and Bryant don't hook up, and Davis makes the defensive play there. Sheed takes a three at the end of the clock and misses. Odom drives on Sheed and gets the obvious foul call, and Sheed responds with what would have been a technical on any other player in the league, but since he's got six already, the refs endure it. Sheed's third, so he's done. Garnett comes back as Odom makes two, and the lead is 14. Danger time...

Allen gets a layup on a good Rondo pass; just the second Celtic hoop in six minutes. Odom and Bryant miss on more volleyball, but Farmar gets on the floor to force a turnover and break, and Bryant gets a foul call. I think Kobe could have passed to the trailer for an open slam on that play, but there's a reason why he's Kobe and all, and I suppose the foul call is important and all. The commerce helps get him his breath back, and two makes pushes it back to 13 as the Lemur talks about Mark Jackson's defensive career. No, seriously.

Garnett misses on what could have been a foul, and Davis fouls Odom on the follow. Farmer with a nice drive and make, and the lead is 15 as Kobe sits. Rondo with another wild miss. Vujacic misses the corner three, but Gasol is running the floor, collecting the board and putting in an easy one as Davis reminds the world why he doesn't start. The run is now 22-7 Lakers, and the Celtics appear to be in full Energy Conversation Mode. You have to admire their commitment to the environment.

Gosh, celebrities have come to the game. Who would have guessed it? Couldn't we have seen another ad for "Grown Ups" there, ABC? That movie needs our support!

Garnett misses on good Gasol defense. Odom misses from distance, and that's Garnett's first board. Ouch. Pierce misses, but Davis gets the o-board and foul on the putback. After two misses, it's 40-23 Lakers, and the Cs are on pace to score 70 tonight. Gasol misses, and Rondo passes to Pierce for a good runner make, but Vujacic hits the straight on three to keep the pressure on. Pierce stripped, and Farmer finishes with a speed slam to make it a 20 point lead. Pierce quiets things with an answer lay up, and Phil Jackson wisely calls time before his bench players go into full All Star Spectacle Mode.

Lakers up by 14 boards as the Lemur reports nothing on the Perkins injury. Hard time imagining him coming back for this one. Testy with a stepback jumper over Pierce on an ugly possession, and man, the Lakers are enjoying home court. Rondo misses something artistic, and Testy misses a heat check three. Garnett misses a long one, and the Cs get the team board. The horrible Shelden Williams misses a dunk, and Kobe makes a hard hanger for the largest lead of either team in the Finals; 22 for the Lakers. Garnett makes at the end of the clock as Kobe makes a dumb steal gamble. Deep bench time for a Laker miss from Josh Powell, who's in to buy time for Bynum and give energy defense on the Celtic bigs. Well, if Williams is in, go nuts.

Allen misses an open look. Kobe in Hero Mode for a turn; his team is up 20, and he's forcing it to get his numbers right now. Rondo misses a slam off an Allen pass, and he's been brutal this half. Jostling on a jump ball, and Rondo wins it on Odom. Fisher gets his third on what looks like a clean strip to me, but it's not like they'll need him. Pierce gets no call on a drive against Luke Walton and Bynum, and Vujacic's three is embarrassingly bad. Pierce with a make, and the Cs won't have less than 30 for the half. Gasol with a bad miss, and that might be a refs letting them play moment; he doesn't usually miss by that much. Pierce's three misses, and Bryant holds for the final shot. Bryant with 15-7-2, and his miss is tipped in by Odom, who is also stepping up tonight. Garnett misses a three to end it, and the Lakers lead by 20 in the least competitive first half of the series. We're 24 minutes away from this series going the distance.

Perkins won't return tonight; not exactly a shock. Can't see him coming back for Game 7, really, but Game Sevens are magic. Fisher picks up his fourth foul in nine minutes, and that one was weak. Farmar in, and Allen misses over him. Kobe corkscrews for the foul call, and this game sounds sleepy right now. Testy turns. Allen feeds Davis at the cup, but he can't make on the road. Rondo with a nifty old-school back shot to finish the possession with a score. Gasol misses on Davis with sleepy offense continuing. Rondo misses, but Davis boards and falls hard on a Gasol foul. Celtics starting to find their legs here, but the rim, not so much. Bynum to the locker room as Davis and Bryant jaw. Pierce strips Gasol, but Allen misses at the cup, and man alive, are they leaving cash on the table. Odom with a jumper ends the Laker draught.

Rondo hits off a Garnett dish inside, and he's now 3 for 11. Gasol's high archer is nothing but cotton. Garnett misses on a drive, and he looks old again. Weird. An ugly Laker possession stays with the home team after an out of bounds scrum, and ends with a Testy three from the arc. Pierce's three goes, and the Lakers are letting them stick around. Kobe to Gasol is nifty, but the Spaniard's shot stays out; team board to LA. Bryant gets to the rim on contact and gets the old-school three, and that was Fullback Jordan there; pain for payback. The make keeps the lead at 20.

Pierce's drive is ramshackle, but it goes, with no foul. Shannon Brown's three stays out as the play gets chippy. Pierce turns it off his foot, and Brown throws it down. Garnett with a make as Gasol and Pierce exchange Hurt Feelings. Gasol goes on Garnett, but the hooks stays out. Garnett misses over Odom, and Bryant gets his 8th board with A Thor Ahh Tie. The replay of Brown's dunk shows Rondo getting away with a cheapie little shove on Bryant in the open court, to no Lemur comment. If this one stays close enough for the starters, expect some more Hurt Feelings soon. These teams just don't... ever miss the Finals. Sigh.

Bynum back on the Laker bench as Shannon Brown shows Dunk Contest quality. Wow. Kobe bodies up on Pierce as Gasol gets called for a defensive three second violation; the technical is made. Garnett makes the open mid-range shot, and that's a three point trip after the Brown dunk. So much for momentum. Bryant goes down low to draw another foul, and he looks like he wants garbage time tonight. Laker Bench now up 21-0 on the Celtic benchies. Two makes from Kobe gets it to 19.

Long Celtic possession ends with Odom giving Allen too much room for a jumper make. Kobe creates room on Allen, but the jumper stays out. The Celtic break is ragged and misses, and Garnett is called for a foul on Brown coming back. Gasol tortures Davis for a foul, as Garnett and Odom do silly crap for Jeff van Gundy's amusement after the whistle. Whatever. Gasol with two makes, and it's 19 again with just over 15 minutes to play.

Rondo with a pick and roll jumper make, as Bryant does not respect that shot. Artest abuses Pierce for a drive and make, and he's got a double-double. Rondo goes back door on Kobe, and I'm sorry, that's never going to stop being funny. Gasol with a skill make on the other end, and to say he looks comfortable in this game is an understatement. To a dead crowd that sounds like they are just appreciating the accepted, the teams are more or less trading baskets. I hold to the belief that this will be the most overrated Finals ever; much of the games were ugly, and this one's just not competitive. So far.

Davis with an o-board on a free throw miss. Sheed's three misses, but he defends Farmar in the open cort. Rondo misses two shots and falls heavily; Vujacic takes advantage of the 5-on-4 for the corner three. Rondo ran into Artest's arm, and while I'm sure that Celtic Fan is going to be irate that he didn't get a call for that, I'm not sure what Artest is supposed to do to avoid the contact. He's got his arms up, the man runs into it as he's turning for the board. But that kind of thing can wake a team up.

Testy with a foul on Pierce as the Cs go to Robinson. Pierce's long three is ugly and out. Artest hits a three to make it 25, and that might be your dagger shot. Robinson misses a bad long three, because he is Nate Robinson. Gasol misses, and that's the third quarter. 76-51 Lakers, and my Celtics in six prediction is not looking very solid right now.

Farmar with a bad turn, but the way this is going for the Lakers, it winds up in a jump ball, rather than a Celtic fast break. Rondo wearing a bandage on his jaw now. Game getting chippy again. Rondo wins the jump, and Sheed misses. Gasol with the board, and Shelden Williams is flopping harder than any NBA player ever, on both ends. It's like he's wearing skates. Gasol makes both as van Gundy advocates Sheed Removal, like there's any chance that he's getting T'd up by this crew. Rondo turned as the Laker defense on him is borderline insulting. Tony Allen's jumper is offensively bad. Gasol's hook stays out. Robinson with a nice reverse and goes to the line, and after 38 minutes, the Celtics have bench points. The free throw goes in to cut the lead to 24.

Farmar misses a three, but Gasol boards and dunks, and it's all gravy for the home team. The Cs miss, board and turn, and Odom misses for a Rondo board. Nine minutes to burn. Robinson tripped for a foul as Mark Jackson makes a Pau Pow joke. Let's just say he wasn't saving the A material for a blowout. Of course, with Jackson, maybe that is the A material...

Robinson misses by a foot after commerce. Fisher's terrible night continues with a turn; the C bench misses a lot of layups, but Tony Allen eventually gets it to go down. Odom misses from range, and Tony Allen misses as well. The teams are 3 for 15 this quarter; can you say Garbage? Make it 3 for 17, and I can't keep up with who's hurting the rim more. Farmar misses; Ray Allen scores, and yippie, 4 for 19 now. Farmar turns and Kobe gets a technical for complaining about Tony Allen's defense. Ray Allen makes, and the lead is 21.

Pierce back in, with a miss. Kobe gets the makeup foul on Ray Allen in the post, and with 6:05 left, this one is officially in Sleepy Time, notwithstanding the possible technical / hard foul potential. But honestly, I'm really not seeing it.

Fisher turns again, and wow, he's been just atrocious. Sheed's three stays out. Kobe to the rack for the layup; pretty. Sheed's three stays out; he's now 0 for 7 from the field, 0 for 6 from the arc. Whoops. Bryant and Tony Allen get into each other as Kobe looks fairly spazzy. Tony Allen watches two makes from the other end of the court; odd. Ray Allen's drive stays out on an obvious no-call, as the refs just seem to want this one to be over, and for the Celtic Fans to have something to pule about. Kobe's three stays out, and Odom takes a hustle foul battling Garnett for the loose ball. Walton comes in as Rivers pulls his starters, and I have a rule: when Marquis Daniels and Josh Powell are in, it's time to stop the full diary. But guess what? Laker Fan knows how to chant that something sucks, too! And the final score was... Lakers 89, Celtics 67, and that's an NBA Finals low. The Celtics do know how to conserve energy.

The team that's won the rebounding battle, or the first quarter, is 6-0. Which tells us two things: the games have been won early and on effort, and that the games haven't been particularly dramatic. But one game for everything kind of *has* to be dramatic, so hope springs eternal. And no matter what, we won't see any more ads for "Grown Ups" after Thursday night. So it's all good. See you then.