Celtics - Lakers Game Two: Ray Allen Does Not Respect Distance

I pick this one up halfway through the first, because, let's be honest, my enthusiasm for the job is not what it should be. I miss two fouls in three minutes for Kevin Garnett -- possibly a net plus for the Celtics, given how awful he was in Game One -- and an early Lakers lead that fades. Rajon Rondo makes a high circus bank floater, but Pau Gasol makes from mid-range. A Ray Allen miss is matched by Kobe Bryant Hero Mode, and the game goes to 100% Sheed Mode (missed three, botched steal, defense on Gasol to stop a shot, long pass to Rondo leading to free throws). Rondo misses both, and the Lakers hold the lead at 21-20.

Ron Artest inside for a tough fall away and miss. Craziness all over the floor as Andrew Bynum leads a break and goes behind the back, Derek Fisher misses what would have been a loud three, Rondo misses the other way, Allen boards, dribbles all over and misses craziness on the baseline, and commerce mercifully intrudes. These are the two best teams in the Association?

Back from money, Sheed hits a three and the lead is back with the road team. Kobe misses at the end of the clock, and Paul Pierce goes to the line in transition on a Lamar Odom foul. Two makes gives the Cs a four point lead as Jeff van Gundy admits that he's boring America. A Kobe miss, a Sheed board, and Pierce goes back to the line after getting Odom in the air for his trademark foul draw. Two more makes, and the lead is six. Sheed takes a foul with some decorum, trying to deny Gasol an entry pass. One make cuts to five. Rondo feeds Sheed for a just inside the arc make, and Odom takes his third foul on a charge against Pierce. The Cs are starting to get some separation here, and Odom sits with 3 fouls in 3 minutes. Rondo feeds Pierce inside, but it's blocked as the Celtics star feels aggrieved (shocking!), leading to an inbounds with one second on the clock and four in the quarter. Big Baby gets blocked under the basket for a shot clock violation. Jordan Farmar misses at the buzzer, and that's the first quarter.

Benchies in, and Shannon Brown and Tony Allen trade misses, but Allen's gets him to the line off a Rondo pass. The lesser Allen makes both, and the lead is nine, the largest of the game. Gasol misses, and that's ten in a row clanging out for the home team. Back from money, Sheed misses a three, and Bynum is fouled at the dish by Davis, his third. He'll be replaced by Garnett, who should be targeted by the Lakers. Farmar gets to the rim and slams; rare lapse. Ray Allen turns it, and Farmar misses the momentum three, but the Lakers keep possession. Kobe travels in Hero Mode against Tony Allen and Friends, as the Lakers go away from Gasol on Garnett. Rondo turns on too fanciness, and Brown gets to the line on a Sheed foul. With the lead cut to five, Rondo undresses Bynum on a drive, fake, stop and uncontested lay-up; pretty. Next, he gets the board and feeds Allen for a three, and blink!, the lead is ten. It's all so basketbally that Mark Jackson drops his voice an octave to show that Rondo Is Manly, and who are we to disagree with tired schtick? Timeout from Coach Philip and commerce.

As we come back, it's Celebrity B-Roll Time, because we need to know who goes to games; it's Very Important. Way too much Laker dribbling leads to a turn and van Gundy telling us what he likes. A double technical is avoided because Kendrick Perkins has had too many already, like this should have an impact on what a technical is. Farmar makes and Bynum picks up his fourth block of the game against Rondo, and Garnett gets his third foul in six minutes on the loose ball. Man alive, does he look bad. The Celtics D up and get a miss, which leads to another Ray Allen three -- huge -- and Testy turns it on the other end. The road team is now up 11 with the ball, and Farmar doesn't help matters with his third foul. Laker Foul in huge whine now.

Perkins feeds Allen, who simply makes his fifth three in five tries; wow. The lead is 14 as Bynum gets a bailout call on Tony Allen. Two makes cuts it to 12 as the Lemur fellates Jesus Shuttleworth. Testy with a foul chasing the shooter. Rondo misses Pierce for a turn. Kobe misses, and the refs call Perkins for his first as Bynum freaks out. America, I beg of you: stop watching these teams, or we'll never get a Finals without them.

As we're in commerce yet again, I check the stats to find out that Ray Allen has 19 points on 11 shots in 16 minutes; handy. Bynum makes two to cut the lead to 10 again. Allen again from the arc, and ye gads, that was cobra quick. Perkins picks up his second and what would be a technical, had he not had a bunch already. That's good officiating! Bynum makes one of the free throws. Pierce gets to the lane and collects a Bynum foul. Two makes as the Lemur fluffs the Boston olds, and the lead is 14. Bryant makes from just inside the arc, and it's telling to me that they aren't going after the Celtic bigs. Rondo can't finish at the cup, but Allen gets the back tap. Perkins with a bad drive and turn. Bryant misses the hero three, but collects a weak Sheed pass off the board, then drives into him for the auto call. That's the third on Sheed, and the four main Celtic bigs now have 11 fouls between them. Not that the Lakers should, you know, get the ball to Gasol or anything.

Hey, did you know the World Cup starts Friday? Did you care? Good for you!

More celebrity B-roll as we return from commerce, because we can't get enough of van Gundy talking about Hilary Swank. No, seriously. Bryant with two makes and the lead is 10, and the Lakers have 10 more free throws than the road team here. Shelden Williams in for the Cs as the big shortage manifests itself. Kobe with a dumb foul on Ray Allen, and that's two on Kobe, and two auto makes from Allen. Kobe gets a roll from mid-range. Rondo misses from the free throw line, and the tip stays out. Kobe picks up his third as Ray Allen goes down as if he's shot; bad call, worse flop, and why the NBA is losing fans. Fisher draws one on Allen as Laker Fan feels karmic justice, and a soccer game has broken out here. Just nauseating on both ends. Bynum misses on Williams, and Ray Allen hits his seventh trey -- good grief. Gasol gets a shot the only way he can tonight -- and o-board -- and gets to the line on a Williams foul. Two makes cuts it to 11. Perkins goes on Gasol like a bear on skates, and the Spanish flop is called for a foul. For the second straight game, the Finals are making the world's eyes hurt. Perkins spins in the first and swishes the second, and the lead is 13.

Testy with a flat three, miss and o-board, then gets the Williams foul to go to the line, as Williams is being treated with all the respect an ex-Duke player with an WNBA wife deserves. Thirty six free throw attempts in 22 minutes. Tasty! One make, one miss, one Rondo sky board. Pierce misses, and Gasol finally gets a pass, which he takes right at Perkins for a reverse slam and the Celtics' center's third foul. Nine point game with a minute left in the first half. Allen finally misses from the corner on a three. Bynum heaves it like a grenade for a miss. Rondo feeds Williams at the cup, but he forgets that he's tall and gets snuffed, rather than go strong, and as we've previously established, he's not getting a foul called.

Kobe in for the final shot of the half, and he gives it to Testy for a miss, but then steals the Williams outlet and nails a three, and that's just an unreal momentum shift. Lakers go on a 7-0 run to close the half, and it's Celtics 54, Lakers 48 at the half... and while the road team has a lead and all, there's no way that they are getting 27 from Allen in the second. Well, say this for the first half: it was highly contested. It wasn't fun to watch, or good basektball, unless you are a big fan of Ray Allen hitting open threes, but at least it was close.

Kidcare keeps me from the start of the second, and the Lakers take the lead. Garnett with a weak effort but it finishes with a pass to Perkins, who spins it in for the make. Allen's alley-oop to Garnett is sad, and Gasol makes back in transition for the lead. Allen collects another foul on Fisher, and Allen is really the only reason the Celtics aren't a speed bump in this game. Pierce with a bad miss of a wide open baseline miss, leading to a Rondo foul on the other end. Testy turns it on the other end, and he's been pretty bad in this game, too. Rondo hits a three at the end of the clock, and that's found money. Gasol to Bynum for a slam, and the Laker center now has 14 for the night. Garnett misses a wide open mid range jumper, then gets his fourth foul as Bynum rolls to the hoop on pick and roll. It's amazing to me that Garnett looks this washed up, and Sheed doesn't. Two makes gives the Lakers a two point game as the Lemur fellates Bynum, and we've officially run out of people to fellate, really. Sheed in for Perkins.

Rondo misses a drive at the end of the clock, but he turns Bryant and gets his fourth foul to boot. Dicey call on Bryant, and Laker Fan is smelling conspiracy. Sheed with a great pass to Pierce for a lay up to tie it. Gasol feeds Bynum on a roll to the hoop, and Davis blocks it, but is called for a foul, because everything is getting called for a foul tonight. One make, one miss, one point Laker lead. Pierce in Hero Mode gets blocked with no call, and Sheed gets whistled denying Gasol, who decides to sit, slide and applaud to make sure. This game is setting back NBA officiating for ten years at least. Bynum leaves to big applause, and it's deserved, I suppose. Two Gasol makes gives the Lakers a three point lead.

Rondo to Pierce at the cup; he misses the first, but taps in the second. Testy misses, Rondo boards and sets up Davis at the cup. He misses, but taps out to Allen at the arc for his eighth make of the game, a new Finals record. Fisher ties it back up with a pretty bank. Allen misses in rhythm, and the Lakers call time as Odom leads a break; odd. We go to commerce with the game tied at 68, and Ray Allen has 30. Ye gads.

Gasol turned by Pierce, who then feeds Davis at the cup for a make and a Spaniard foul. Not exactly the best sequence for the big man. Davis misses the freebie, and Gasol gets a Pierce foul on a paint heave. Two makes and we're tied again, and for a close game with a lot of lead changes, it's been ugly. Rondo misses, gets the board, fakes behind his back, then feeds for a Sheed bank. It's safe to say that he feels creative. The teams trade four misses and look mutually gassed. Gasol finally makes a basketball moment, spinning in a jumper to re-tie it. Pierce misses, Rondo boards and holds for the last shot, which is a dribbly long mess that misses. Rondo now has 9-11-10 for the night, and I still don't much like his game; just too scattered. It's 72-all at the end of the third, with 43 total fouls, 22 turnovers, and 40 out of 144 points scored via free throw. But these are the teams that America wanted to see!

Rondo on the bench for the first time tonight, for Nate Robinson. Ray Allen makes a wing jumper off a drive for the lead. Kobe misses a floater and gets his fifth foul as Davis draws a charge. I'm calling it now; short of murder, he's not getting six in this game, regardless of minutes. Garnett feeds Davis for a slam. Allen gets a blocking charge and Odom scores on an obvious Garnett goaltend. Odom gets the roll for the old-school three. Davis fails three times at the cup, and Sasha Vujacic hits a three at the other end, and that feels like a momentum change. Davis again down low, and hooks it in for the re-tie. Kobe misses, but Bynum gets the board an stuff, and he's got 19 now to go with 7 blocks. Nate Robinson with a silly long three to get the lead back; terrible decision, great execution. Tony Allen steals and Robinson finishes, and the Cs are back up by three. Back and forth we go; 19 lead changes tonight. Farmer misses, and Vujacic and Davis will jump it up after commerce.

The Lakers win the tap. Testy misses from distance, but the Cs watch Vujacic get the board and feed Farmar for a trying three. Farmar nearly forces a turn as Robinson travels, but the refs call Testy for a foul first, his third. Note that the whistles have gone away in the fourth so far. Garnett misses by three feet -- horrible -- and the Lakers respond with an Odom miss from the arc. Davis misses a three, and Garnett blows the board. I can't say how bad he's been tonight. Bynum finishes at the cup, and the Lakers leads again. Bynum now with 21-6-7, and the seven are blocks. Robinson draws Bynum's third foul and makes both for yet another tie, 85-all. Nice minutes from Robinson in the fourth.

Kobe finally has a Kobe moment, losing Ray Allen on a drive, getting a bank shot to drop as he hangs in the air, waiting for Perkins to fall before he shoots, and collecting Allen's third foul. That's a highlight film moment there. He makes after the ads to give the Lakers a three point lead. Nice passing from the Cs gets Rondo a layup and a triple double. Kobe abuses Allen for a mid-range make, but Rondo has a clear path from a Garnett screen for the answer layup. Bynum called for a moving screen, his fourth foul, and that's a turn. Allen's catch and shoot three is an airball that delights Laker Fan. Kobe misses as the whistles go away and Garnett boards. Pierce is fouled by Testy on the pass, but the Lakers aren't in the penalty yet. Pierce draws another on Testy with an exaggeration to the bump, and Testy has five now. Gasol blocks Perkins, but Rondo gets the loose ball and scores for the new lead. Garnett's fifth is the usual ugly dance routine, but Garnett recovers to force a turnover. With three minutes left, the Celtics lead by one and have the ball, and I have the feeling that the first team that gets to 100 wins this one.

Cs run clock. Garnett gets a roll, just his second make of the night, to give the Cs a three point lead. Rondo with a huge block on Fisher, but Allen can't finish against Bryant, who, of course, wasn't getting called for a foul there. The Cs get the board. Allen with a miss, and the initial team board call is for the Cs... but the refs go under the hood and keep the call with the Cs, despite the Lemur not liking the call. Personally, I thought it was inconclusive, but I hate replay on principle, anyway.

Rondo hits an open 18-footer, and the lead is five. Bryant tries a hero three and misses, and after defensive pressure, Doc Rivers leaps off the bench to prevent the 8-second backcourt turnover. Heady moment for Rivers, really. Ray Allen catches over half court, feeds Garnett, who gets it to Perkins for a make and a 10-0 run. Wow. 97-90 now, and we're about a play away from this being over. Kobe misses, Perkins gets the board, and he's hacked for the auto free throws. One miss, one make. Testy takes too much time, but Gasol has the board, and Bryant makes a straight up 30 footer to cut it to five. A long inbounds to Allen is dangerous but complete, and for some reason, he throws it to Rondo, who is barely fouled by Testy to go to the line. That's it for Testy.

Rondo with two big throws, and he makes just the first. Kobe turns on Rondo pressure, and he winds up back at the line. The first misses, leading to a loud SHIT! call that the Lemur's mics can't cut fast enough; fun! He makes the second, and it's Celtics 100, Lakers 93 with 33 seconds left. And yes, the Celtics were the first team to 100.

Kobe misses, and this might be the worst game I've seen from him in some time. Garnett gets the board and the free throw trip. He makes both, and now has a 6-4-6 line for the night. Nice, if you are a back up point guard. Gasol misses from the baseline arc, and this one is all over as the Cs get the board. Your final was Celtics 103, Lakers 94, and that's the first Laker home loss of the postseason. If they don't win a game in Boston, it will also be the last.

So the series is tied, with Game Three in Boston on Tuesday. The quick turnaround helps the younger Lakers, and you have to think that Bryant is going to do a lot more than 21-5-6 with 40% shooting in 34 foul plagued minutes. You also have to think that Coach Philip might get Gasol more involved; he only got 10 shots tonight and still had 25 points. But the Celtics only got good games out of Allen and Rondo tonight, Bynum will likely disappear on the road, and the next Lamar Odom sighting in this series will be the first. It might not be pretty to watch, but I'd be highly surprised if it doesn't go deep. See you on Tuesday.