If no one is hiring, you are retired

This just in from Los Angeles... according to a paparazzi who had the pleasure of photographing The Home Run Thing, Senor Bonds is not going to retire from MLB.

Um, Barry? If no one is employing you -- and why they'd do that now, as opposed to last year -- you can retire or not retire all you like. I'm not retiring from MLB either, and you, Dear Reader, also won't give up The Dream. Send us all some pension checks now, please.