Tonight's post is, frankly, a test of the Emergency Cheap Canadian Heat system, along with seeing if I can get the hockey fans who read the site (yes, both of you!) to flame me in the comments. I'm not sure that I went far enough, really: most NHL fans will agree with you that Gary Bettman is the hockey equivalent of a 9/11 bomber in terms of helpfulness, and if they aren't wincing at some of these nicknames, they just aren't being honest with themselves. But your mileage may vary, and you might have been worked up into a good mark frothing fury here. In that case, I will take your scorn with my usual Rowdy Roddy grace, and close by saying that you are watching soccer on skates. SOCCER.