Top Ten World Cup Final Takeaways

10) Spain sacrificed their vision of how the game is played by scoring once, rather than passing for the entire game

9) The Dutch are relieved that the Germans lost, given that their usual defense of hiding in the attic until they leave doesn't work well in football

8) The All-European Final means that the other five continents that play the game aren't relevant

7) Since neither the Dutch nor the Spanish has won a World Cup before, the post-game rioting should really be special

6) If Spain wins, it will be the first time ever that a team wins the World Cup after losing its first game, which means the Swiss would be the real champions

5) It's completely OK to worry about how the Germans will respond to this loss

4) ESPN is bitterly disappointed that the ratings juggernaut that is Uruguay didn't make the final

3) You probably won't need the jerseys to tell the Dutch and Spanish apart

2) The Dutch are unbeaten in their last 25 games, which means they are completely doomed

1) We only have one more game to bitch about vuvuzelas