Top 10 reasons why LeBron James is announcing his free agency plans on ESPN

10) They outbid Lifetime

9) If he did it on MSG or WGN, that might be telling

8) Longs to achieve the heights of Jim Rome, Tony Kornheiser and Stephen A. Smith

7) Has absolutely no regard for the fine slate of Thursday MLB games

6) Wants to spend a good 10 minutes of national airtime to share the joy and comedy that is the Clippers' presentation

5) It's the only way to generate funds for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America

4) Winning ratings is easier than rings

3) It's a pretty great way to make everyone ignore the Amar'e Stoudemire, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh signings

2) Gives him the best chance to reinvent himself as a reality television star

1) Perfect stage in which to debut his doomsday machine