Top 12 reasons why no one cares that A-Rod is about to hit his 600th homer

12) That would involve being happy for him, which no one has been since Seattle

11) MLB's fans are too wrapped up in Trevor Hoffman's attempt to reach 600 saves

10) Now that he's got a World Series ring, it's much harder to belittle him

9) Between the steroids, the boom box stadiums that he's played in, and the massive number of dingers that have come in blowouts, really doesn't seem like very much

8) Unlike Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Andy Pettite, Jorge Posada and a half dozen other guys who are having a better year, he's not a True Yankee

7) Once Dallas Braden threw a perfect game, everyone had to admit that A-Rod was kind of a douche about that whole walking on the mound thing

6) Yankee Fan is too sophisticated to care about whole numbers, preferring only primes

5) Unfortunately for A-Rod, his only fan isn't able to clap at homers, since that guy is usually holding a bat when he hits one

4) Failed to get the memo that this is the Year of the Pitcher, and that home runs are now considered gauche and declasse

3) Once Evan Longoria beat him out in the All-Star balloting, all of his other accomplishments failed to matter

2) Six hundred home runs might be enough to impress a lesser franchise, but Yankee Fan only gets stiff for threepeats and all-time records

1) Timed his home run record to be right in the middle of Old Men Dying Month