Top 11 Reasons Why I Won't Blog About The Tour de France

11) After the heavy rotation of Radio Shack ads with Lance Armstrong during the NBA playoffs, can no longer see him on my TV without risk of "Scanners"-style rage

10) Life is too short, and I've already strained the Euro Tolerance Levels of the blog's readers enough with the World Cup stuff as is

9) There are more than enough places for you to go to read about the exploits of Mean Old Texan Mc Suspected Cheater

8) Any sport which dreams of the clear drug testing and public credibility of Bug Selig's MLB, or Vince McMahon's WWE, does not need to be watched

7) Lance Armstrong is no longer ball deep into Sheryl Crow, which means we're even further away from people who do interesting things

6) I'm too old to start pitching or catching for the other team, so looking at guys in bike shorts and pumping thighs doesn't have much appeal

5) No real expectation that the French will be infuriated anymore

4) I don't give a crap about any other race sport, either

3) If something being done badly is more entertaining to watch than something being done well, it no longer qualifies as sport

2) There's a reasonable chance that the winner of this thing is riding a moped

1) Just can't get into a sport where the big strategic concern is There Are Mountains, and the big strategic move is Pedal Harder