Top 12 takeaways from Week One of NFL Preseason

12) Underscoring the idea that he's intelligent, new Redskins QB Donovan McNabb looked the most for TE Chris Cooley, rather than his circus meat platter of WRs

11) The Bills gave up 42 points and started Trent Edwards and Ryan Fitzpatrick at QB while giving Brian Brohm no snaps, just to reinforce the idea to Bills Fan that he's in for five months of Complete Suck

10) Curtis Painter, aka that Colts back-up QB that ensured that the Jets made the playoffs last year, remains almost unbelievably horrible

9) The Rams' choice of Hank Fraley at center has much to do with their choice of AJ Feeley at QB, in that they'd rather end the year with top draft pick Sam Bradford still alive

8) San Diego's running game looks better, now that their lead running back does not wear his belt up to his armpits and yell at kids to stay off his lawn

7) Answering the prayers of fantasy owners that wanted to have a single ownable Bills player, RBs Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch got hurt, opening the door for first round RB pick C.J. Spiller

6) Legedu Naanee should send Vincent Jackson a fruit basket and a nice message of support for continuing his holdout

5) Steve Slaton fumbled at the goal line and Ben Tate broke his ankle, so the Texan RB situation will likely be the same train wreck as last year

4) The Packers starting defense gave up 162 yards and 3 touchdowns to Jake Delhomme and the Browns, proving that Peter King's pick of them to win the Super Bowl was, well, made by Peter King

3) Michael Vick looked turnover-prone, the Eagles failed to convert in the red zone, and Andy Reid remains fat, completely shocking Eagle Fan who was convinced that everything would be sunshine and puppies with Donovan McNabb gone

2) Dennis Dixon looked good against the Lions backups, which will give Steeler Fan something to pule for when Byron Leftwich is discovered to be Byron Leftwich

1) Matt Leinart greatly resents the implication that he blew off mandatory post-game interviews to go find an underaged kegger, when he was really going to a titty bar