Top 10 reasons why Brian Westbrook chose the Niners

10) Had already used his Jedi powers to end Glen Coffee

9) Wants to recreate the post-Eagles career of Charlie Garner

8) As stated previously when we thought he was going to the Rams, football players with histories of concussion should always choose a division without hitting

7) Really wants to stick it to all of Frank Gore's owners in fantasy football

6) Padding your numbers for Canton in the NFC West worked wonders for Emmitt Smith

5) Has undisclosed business to take care of in the Castro

4) Knows that Alex Smith can't actually throw accurately enough to get it to a WR, so he's going to get a lot of screen passes in the flat

3) Looking forward to working with a coach who might, just might, have a clue with clock management

2) Natural grass, local wine and temperate climates are good for older citizens

1) Has a secret, shameful and unquenchable thirst for... sourdough

(And the special bonus reason, just for longtime readers of the blog: Just like me, B-Dub longed to be, closer to Mookie...)