Top 12 consequences of the MLB financial statements leak

In case you've somehow missed Deadspin's outstanding bit of provocation, they've managed to get their pesky little fingers on the financial records of several MLB- franchises. And surprise, surprise, surprise... it turns out that all of these cash-poor sad sisters are making money hand over fist, and generally defrauding the public by refusing to play the game to win. I know, good thing we were all sitting down for the news, but now that what was known forever is out in the open, there are, of course, consequences...

12) MLB had to reset its workplace "Days Since A PR Debacle" poster

11) Shockingly, the nation's media is giving this less play than when an athlete shoots steroids into his butt

10) The 29 remaining Pirate fans who actually thought the team was trying to win for all of those years had to have their medication increased

9) The government officials of the greater Miami area are suddenly much less interested in paying for the Marlins' parking garage

8) As a whole, MLB+ teams now seem comparatively less evil

7) Bud Selig's Secret Police is going into Exploding Cigar Mode to find out a way to kill all of those pesky bloggers who let the money cat out of the money bag

6) Cub Fan is even more irate over how the Gods of Karma have gifted the Marlins with two World Championships in the last 15 years, seeing as they were barely even trying *and* running a massive economic con game

5) The miserable contrarians who mainstream media always pays to take the other side on these things get to argue how all of the MLB- teams are right to run this swindle, seeing how they weren't smart enough to spend money and win anyway

4) Billy Beane's ability to keep a straight face during the press conference for the next fire sale trade of a plus starting pitcher (Brett Anderson, 2012) is going to put to its greatest test yet

3) Somehow, this stunning example of the worst kind of welfare fraud will be missed by your local right-wing radio blowhard, seeing how the fraudsters in question aren't poor minority members

2) If this leak had simply happened a decade ago, we could have prevented several dozen pointless stadium construction projects

1) Finally, the world knows just how much money teams make off mascot appearances, Jumbotron birthday announcements, and the wildly "creative" accounting practice of amortizing personnel costs, aka basic tax fraud