This week's top 10 MLB takeaways

10) CC Sabathia became the major's first 18-game winner, despite the fact that sabermetric nerds have conclusively proven that pitching wins don't matter

9) The Phillies lost four in a row to the godawful Astros, then pounded the division leading Padres, just to prove that the games are random

8) The ChiSox brought Manny Ramirez to Chicago for a $4 million rental, mostly to see how much crazier they could make Ozzie Guillen

7) Trevor Hoffman's long national nightmare to 600 saves, retirement and euthanasia is nearly over

6) With 31 games left to play and down 6.5 in the division and wild card, we can start planning the party arrangements for Red Sox Elimination Day

5) The Mets were a .500 team 10 games ago, are a .500 team right now, and are incredibly likely to be that way in a month, too

4) Cincy has quietly opened up a 5 game lead on the Cardinals, mostly to make sure that we don't have a single division race that will be more compelling than watching paint dry

3) No team in the National League but Pittsburgh, assuming Pittsburgh is still in the National League, is "hotter" than winning 6 out of the last 10 games, or "colder" than 4 out of 10

2) Ivan Nova, a rookie starting pitcher for the Yankees, shook off the crushing and unprecedented organizational shame that is allegations of PED cheating to earn his first win

1) If you are still paying attention to MLB, it's either because you hate football, have a contending fantasy team, or refuse to admit that non-steroidal pitching-tastic division-race free baseball is mind-boggingly dull