Top 10 reasons why the Celtics signed Shaq

10) It's the only way to amp up the dislike that Laker Fan has for the franchise

9) Needed a defensive stopper to cover for the loss of Kendrick Perkins

8) Ensures that the newly acquired Jermaine O'Neal won't be the most washed-up O'Neal on the roster

7) Gives the team the critical age and experience it needs to break over the top

6) Just cripples the Cavaliers, who were a major rival to them last year

5) Will help the club overcome its crunch time problems by giving them another guy who can just nail those critical free throws

4) Part of Shaq's mission to make everyone forget how good he was, and to play for every team (just 24 to go)

3) Will give them six hard fouls on LeBron James for that opening night game, seting the tone for the entire year

2) He's just had so much playoff success in the past few seasons, the Celts couldn't resist adding him

1) Want to make sure that Danny Ainge isn't considered a genius, and enjoy watching Bill Simmons turn on any personnel assessment once a guy puts on his team's laundry