Top 10 takeaways from the Edinson Volquez PED Suspension

Former All-Star Edinson Volquez, a pitcher for the Cincinatti Reds that hasn't pitched since last June, was suspended for 50 games today after testing positive for a performance enhancing drug. It's the highest profile suspension since the Manny Ramirez Experience, but there are bigger things to know than that. Such as...

10) Seeing as Volquez can serve the suspension while on injury rehab, the only people who should care about this are the folks collecting the $133K+ fine

9) Dusty Baker deserves an apology; he doesn't kill young pitchers, he kills cheaters

8) Luckily, Josh Hamilton is hitting .205 with zero home runs, so Texas might not win that trade after all

7) The Baseball Prospectus guys that put Volquez on the cover must feel so embarrased right now

6) Volquez claims that the violation happened due to a desire to start a family, which shows an admirable if misguided commitment to equal parenting

5) Gave baseball fans a delightful morning of Twitter-fueled witch hunt speculation as to who was going to get nabbed

4) Puts Volquez under the same kind of permanent stain as Sergio Mitre and J.C. Romero, both of whom have never recovered from the shame, oh, the shame

3) Delivers an effective detriment against any player that thinks about cheating to get ahead

2) Proves that, by the numbers, the minor leagues are 16 times more dirty than the majors

1) Proves that, for the 15th straight year according to All Father Selig, there is no PED problem in baseball