Top 12 Masters Takeaways

12) When you have limited commercial interruptions, you might actually watch the ads that appear

11) For the amount of money that goes into this place, the fact that it's beautiful really isn't that impressive

10) In a White-Off, I'm not sure who wins among the CBS Masters broadcast team, the Masters board of directors, the spectators in the gallery, or once Tiger Woods fell out of contention, the home audience

9) While some might remember this tournament for Phil Mickelson's emotional win and post-game hug with his wife, I'm still going with Ian Poulter's purple plaid pants

8) Rooting against Tom Watson becomes a lot easier after you learn that he's a Rush Limbaugh lover

7) You've never heard announcers root for a player like CBS rooted for Woods to stay in contention, or a more snicker-inducing excuse than hearing about how much energy he's had to spend recently off the golf course

6) Since the tournament really begins on the back nine on Sunday, there's really no point in watching this thing until then

5) When Woods loses his tempter and curses now, it's very disappointing, because he's breaking his word

4) On some level, spending a glorious Sunday afternoon watching other people play golf, instead of doing it yourself, is just sad

3) Fred Couples is the rich man's John Daly, in that he hits it long, is utterly loved by the gallery, and doesn't win

2) Woods' fourth-place finish despite wildly erratic Sunday play, 24/7 tabloid coverage and acres of rust doesn't exactly smell like abject defeat

1) Mickleson's win proves that winning for your family also involves winning for your love handles, man boobs and hiding your blubber in all black clothing