Top 12 reasons the Phillies signed Ryan Howard to a $125 milllion+ contract

12) Seemed like a bargain when translated as a per pound price

11) Howard and GM Ruben Amaro shook hands at the start of negotiations, then Howard wouldn't let go

10) Signing a heavy slugger for the second-most money in baseball, with the contract not ending until he's 36, always works out

9) Howard threatened to start eating again if the contract wasn't taken care of

8) Effectively ruins the Cardinals and Brewers chances to keep Albert Pujols and Prince Fielder

7) Could afford him thanks to Roy Halladay taking less to be here, and agreeing to hold offseason telethons

6) With the financial security, Howard will finally be able to afford to learn how to hit left-handed pitching

5) The front office really enjoys it when sabermetric nerds freak out

4) Overcompensating for being called cheap for the Cliff Lee trade

3) Still feel bad for the way they treated Dick Allen

2) Club is certain that the economy and real estate market will not only recover, but leave everyone in America up to their nethers in ice cream

1) It's all an elaborate motivational ploy to get Jimmy Rollins to get off the DL faster