MLB Playoff Picks: Phillies-Dodgers and Red Sox-Rays

One of the puff pieces that happened in advance of the NLCS this week spoke to the Useless Dodger Veteran Bench (aka Nomar Garciaparra, Andruw Jones, Jeff Kent and Juan Pierre) that all have Playoff Experience, but are also mostly ballast for this team. You will be relieved, I am sure, to find out that they are all Team Players who want to play, but remain totally unselfish and professional and so very, very tired...

On the contrary, I'd argue that it took Joe Torre far too long, and that he got fortunate with injuries, to learn that these guys really weren't going to be much use for him in the act of winning ballgames. Pierre's offense has been terrible for years. Jones has seemingly hit a complete wall in terms of no longer being someone who belongs in MLB -- seriously, only his contract is keeping him in the majors right now.

Kent can still hit -- hell, I suspect you'll be able to say that of the man the week that they bury him -- but he can't stay healthy, and he's got about as much right to play second base as I do. (I actually have better range, but being still afraid of baseballs hit with startling speed by grown men, I'm pretty sure that he'd be more effective. Anyway.) Nomar is a reasonable utility fill-in these days, provided you aren't expecting much pop at the plate.

On an MLB Minus team, these contracts would be absolutely crippling, and the Dodgers would have resembled the Bonds-less Giants of a few years back. Instead, here they are, having taken out the doomed Cubs and more or less an even-money bet to go to the Series. All because Manny Ramirez puled his way out of Boston, carrying them to a bad division win, and the luck of the draw got them the team that never, ever wins. Right?

Well, no, not quite. What happened was that they finally played the people that they should have been playing all along. James Loney is a good left-handed hitter and reasonable defender at first, and the only thing that keeps more people from knowing this is that his home park deflates offense. Matt Kemp in center is a stone-cold stud, a man who anyone could tell just by looking at him should never have to want for playing time. I suspect he could be one of the 20 best players in baseball within two years. Andre Ethier in right just doesn't make a whole lot of outs, does everything well, and has upped the ante since the Manny trade by, well, hitting like Manny's little brother. Blake Dewitt at second grinds like a prototype Dustin Pedroia and covers ground.

Combine them all with the return to health of Rafael Furcal (aka, the single non-Manny everyday playing vet that might be worth his contract), and hey presto... it's a good offense. If Russell Martin is fresh enough to hit (they wear him out and he fades every second half), it's actually a very good offense.

Pitching wise, they are also fine, though not as good as the park makes them out to be. Derek Lowe has carried them recently and has an exceptional post-season record. Chad Billingsley has been aces for a while now, and will be cited as such any day now. Hiroki Kuroda isn't great, but he doesn't walk people and keeps the ball in the park; you could do a lot worse from a #3 starter (and when Brad Penny is healthy, you do very well with him at #4). Greg Maddux is the Kuroda story with 350 more MLB wins. The bbullpen has tons of plus arms that are generally reliable.

Oh, and Manny Ramirez is the best hitter in baseball right now. That helps, too.

So why am I picking the Phils to win?

Well, the home field helps a lot here. So does the general feeling that when push comes to shove, Cole Hamels and Brett Myers are just better than Lowe and Billingsley. The back end of the Phillies rotation - Jamie Moyer and Joe Blanton -- seems more useful to me, to the point where I think the Phils get better starting pitching in every game.

As for the bullpen, the slight hiccup in Game Two notwithstanding, I like Brad Lidge a little more than Takashi Saito, and Jonathan Broxton has utterly filthy stuff, but just seems like a guy who's going to issue a key walk or two. The Dodgers have better depth for an extra inning game, but for the simple act of closing a game in regulation, I think the Phillies have the edge.

I also think the Phillies can win in LA more easily than the Dodgers can win in Philly. I also think that (deep breath) Charlie Manuel has seen enough of Manny Ramirez over the years to know how to limit the damage that Ramirez does, whereas the Dodgers will fear no Phillies hitter -- and wind up paying the price.

Finally, there's this. The way to shut the Phillies down cold is to have quality left-handed pitching. And all of the Dodger starters are right-handed.

Phillies in 6.

Well, Red Sox Fan, welcome to the Hated Favorite status that we all knew you'd get to, or have been arguing you were for years. Here's the plucky and lovable Rays, a bunch of kids -- kids, you bastards!

If you beat them, you'll face one of the most tortured fan bases in the country with the Phillies, or the lovable man-child that you refused to sign to an extension, just because he was a minority, and hated so much that you had to ship him out of town for a nondescript white guy, even while *still* paying his salary.

How does it feel to be the New Yankees, even down to the noxious traveling fan base that ensures that no matter how nice and easy-going your players are, you'll always be known as the opponent of every MLB fan's second favorite team? (In that they root for theirs first, than your opponent.)

But first things first, which is how this strange little series will play out. Tampa has the better rotation and everyday players (especially with Mike Lowell out), while Boston has the better bullpen and home field advantage. Seriously, in all seven games of this series, Boston will be playing in front of at least a 50% fan base.

The teams Just Don't Like Each Other, and Boston's got a ton of post-season experience. Also, while Tampa's starters are good, they aren't lockdown great (even Scott Kazmir can be worked into high pitch counts that prevent him from going deep). Finally, Tampa's hitters will grip the bat too tight in their One Chance To Get To The World Series (seriously, even though they are young and affordable, everyone knows this can't last -- see Oakland, Minnesota, Cleveland and every other non-BOS-NYY-LAA AL team of the last decade).

So, I'm just going to pick what will happen, rather than what I want. That way, no matter what happens, I'm feeling like a winner. (Well, at least more than usual.)

Red Sox in 6.

Which, of course, gives us Boston cock-blocking another Philadelphia sports championship, while my football-only friends tell me that they really hate Washington, Dallas and New York instead. Please, my friends, can't we all come together in our hate for Boston teams and her fans? The rest of the nation is already there. Join in!