The Yankees Are Hospitable Hosts

I had the Phillies-Yankees game on this afternoon while doing the laundry, and I have to congratulate the Yanks for being so accommodating to the visiting team. After years of a huge and unfair home field advantage, complete with ghosts and full-throated partisans and wall-to-wall Yankee Fans, the most valued franchise in baseball has, in one fell swoop, made the playing field much more level. With acres of empty seats in the close areas, a permanent tourist mindset from the overpriced everything, and the sense from non-locals that they need to see the new yard, you've never heard so many fans happy to see the home team lose... which they did today, to the immortal Carlos Ruiz and Clay Condrey, to drop their series with the Fightin's.

In many ways, it just makes things like the Yankee road games, where they have any number of road fans ruining the experience for the local faithful, and helps us get to that perfect moment for MLB -- a post-modern age where every person in attendance is more or less neutral in their rooting interests, maybe because they're all fantasy sports players and/or corporate greedheads who are too well-heeled to applaud. It's certainly making life easier for the Phillies, who are below .500 at home and far above that on the road. If they could ever get their home and closer problem (Brad Lidge blew his second save of the series today, has an ERA of over 9, and just looks snakebit) dealt with, they could be, you know, good or something.

But in any event, continued thanks to the Yanks for replacing their perfectly acceptable, massive home-field advantage with a massive boondoggle that will, over time, destroy their pitching and retard their player development and talent evaluation. (Oh, and what a fair home run for Mark Teixeria today, who went deep to left when his bat broke all the way into the outfield.) Good work, gents!

Adam Eaton Heals Me

In my single very bad year of Little League baseball, I was on the league champion team. The first baseman was the coach's son and the best player (and biggest asshat) in the league; he could rake. We had a half dozen or so great players, and we generally rolled the league. I had a few good games early through sheer luck, but then more or less fell apart, especially on defense. (It turns out that my eyes don't work together, so my depth perception is pretty much non-existent. Not an asset on pop ups, really.)

When the team won the championship, I wasn't all that excited; hitting 12th and playing for one inning in deep right will tend to take the joy out of things, really. I knew I wasn't going to ever do this again, and that it wasn't that much of a story. I took no share of the glory.

This puts me considerably on front of Adam Eaton.

"A lot of things went wrong, but a lot of things went right, too. I helped them get to the playoffs two years in a row, and obviously we won the World Series last year."

Adam's ERA in 2007: 6.29.

Adam's ERA in 2008: 5.80.

Now, to be fair, maybe I'm not getting the whole story here. Perhaps Adam was a great asset in the clubhouse. Or a mentor to Cole Hamels and Brad Lidge. Maybe his statistics don't show his, um, true worth.

And maybe my Little League team needed my googly-eyed ballast to keep them all focused on the prize.

Yes, that must be it.

So I'd like to be the very first person in the greater Philadelphia region to say these words:

Thank you, Adam Eaton.

Through your considerable example and incredible linking skills, that's one more source of childhood shame erased. I was the MVP, baby!

The Voice

In the last few months, I tried to get in touch with Harry Kalas. My keeper league was about to have its second annual draft, and I wanted to get him to record the order of the draft to play before we started, like our collection of geeks was a batting order.

If nothing else, I wanted to hear him say all of our team names with that dry chuckle in his voice, the one that was always present when he said names like "Neee-No Ess-Pah-No-Sa." (A flammable pitcher of my youth, but a name that Harry just loved, by all accounts.)

But more than anything, I just wanted to hear Harry Kalas say my name.

You know, like when I was a kid, and Harry was the play by play guy when we were playing pick up games, and I was the star second baseman for my home town team.

The Phillies never followed up, and I didn't mention it to the entire league, because, well, I wanted to get it done for the next year. And so it goes.

Kalas was, after the passing of his equally beloved color partner Richie "Whitey" Ashburn a decade ago, the most loved man in the greater Philadelphia region. He certainly was the most impersonated. At the same league draft, one of my owners spent much of the draft saying off-color things in his reasonably good Harry voice. Even after hours of this, no one told him to stop.

It also never struck me as all that impossible to happen, because, well, Kalas just seemed so incredibly approachable. He voiced the Puppy Bowl and Campbell's Soup commercials, all kinds of other voiceovers, and even did quick one-offs for people's weddings in the Philadelphia area. He knew that he was, like Jack Buck in St. Louis, Vin Scully in Los Angeles, Bill King in Oakland and a few dozen other people who people all over the country can easily volunteer, someone who belonged to the town where he lived and worked.

More importantly, he was comfortable in that. You know, kind of like the team, or at least, how the team should be.

People remember the boyish joy of Kalas's "Outta here!" home run calls, but there was so much more to him than that. He consistently gave you the pitch type, location and speed if he was on the radio, but not on television. He almost never lost track of the outs or count. When the game was close, nothing on this earth could have made him start talking about some other game, personality or topic of debate that didn't have a clear and obvious relationship to the game that was in front of you. He also had that clean and clear virtue of appreciating great plays and performances, regardless of the laundry of the wearer.

Which isn't to say that you couldn't tell when the Phils lost, or played badly, or irritated him. There was always this small note of defeat in his voice, like a 14-year-old boy trying to be magnanimous but failing, when the Phils would blow a game. Players come and players go, but you never got the feeling that winning wasn't great and losing didn't suck from Harry. He wasn't cool, or post-modern, or snarky, or beholden to a catch phrase. When he disagreed with an umpire, it never got over-the-top or grating; he was just, well, too good of a man to go to those places. He was the best kind of fan, and in an age when we multi-task and watch the time commitment on a million things, there was just something timeless and easy about listening to him call a game.

Baseball is, of course, unique in the regard that a dedicated fan will spend hundreds of hours of years and thousands of hours in a lifetime with a long-tenured play by play man. It's possible, of course, to be a completely different person than what you appear to be on radio and television, but Kalas was with us all for just short of 40 years, with his son following him into his profession. (A small note to the Phillies: Hire Todd Kalas away from the Rays. Today. It'll help.) It's very possible that longtime Phillies fans have heard Kalas more than any other person in their life.

And then there was, of course, that voice, lush and warm and consistent, a simple pleasure even when you heard it attached to something that was wildly *not* baseball. My ex-wife wasn't a sports or baseball fan, and she loved his voice. How could you not?

Here is the awful, awful truth about the relationship that you have with the beloved baseball play by play man that you listened to in your formative years. You never really get over his passing. Millions of people are now feeling this way, and for those of us who are of a certain age, we all just got about ten to twenty years older. Which isn't fair, because it remembers his life in sadness rather than in joy, but it also probably can't be helped. It's tough to be positive about loss.

He died today in the pre-game in Washington, a game that the Phillies would win. One of his favorite players, Jamie Moyer, got the win. The last game he called was in Colorado, where last year's NLCS hero, Matt Stairs, hit a game-winning pinch hit home run. His last season, of course, ended with the Phillies' second championship ever, and the audio file of that inning will be on my computer for the rest of my life.

And while it might have been more poetic had he passed on in the off-season, with his last public words being tied to a championship, I'm sure that he's happier having seen a few games more. That, and making sure that the moment that gave the team's fans such happiness wouldn't be lessened by his passing.

A final point: I'm not a Phillies fan, at least not much of one.

But a Harry Kalas fan?

Yes, yes, a million times, yes.

Get Used To This

Last night in Philly, the defending champions lost to the restocked Braves, as Derek Lowe was sharp and Brett Myers continued his unfortunate first-inning home run pattern by giving up three shots that were so vicious, they might have been directed at his spouse. (It's funny because it refers to actual real life abuse!)

These things happen, even on national television and on a night that was so nice, it hardly seemed possible that it was early April, and I've got no further point about that. But let's look at the ninth inning, where Bobby Cox brought in Mike Gonzales to protect a 4-run lead.

- E. Bruntlett doubled to deep left
- J. Rollins flied out to deep right, E. Bruntlett to third
- J. Werth singled to left, E. Bruntlett scored
- C. Utley walked, J. Werth to second

At this point, three out of four men have reached base, about as good a start to an inning as you could hope for, especially when Eric Bruntlett and his career .315 OBA leads off with a double.

But then, well, this happens.

- R. Howard struck out looking
- R. Ibanez struck out swinging

Because, well, Ryan Howard has a career .314 OBA against left handers (compared to .412 against right-handers) and strikes out (gulp) over 40% of the time he sees them. Ibanez has a .323 OBA, but at least puts the ball in play, albeit without power (.734 OPS to .849 for right handers). And that's your ball game.

On Saturday in an exhibition game, the Rays beat the Phillies when a right-handed power hitting outfielder, some guy by the name of Pat Burrell, went yard. Mr. Burrell, who oddly enough seems to have a highly involved history of playing for the Phillies, has a career OPS of .950 against left-handers, and really would have been a better fit in the lineup last night, rather than have, well, three lefties in a row.

Perhaps new Phillies GM Ruben Amaro can give manager Charlie Manuel another right-handed bat to help balance this situation. Because, well, it really looks like in the current lineup, you'd have to be a complete idiot to not throw every lefty you have against the Fightin's. Especially in the late innings. I mean, I'm just the guy who writes for a remarkably unpopular sports blog, and I can see how really stupid it is to have that much of a platoon shift...

I'll See You In October, With A Gun

Perhaps the only positive development in the past few years for newspapers in this country has been the growth of the Departing Athlete Ad, in which the ex-wearer of the laundry tells the people just how much he's appreciates the past X years.

Pat Burrell's entry into the field is below, and on some level, I'm disappointed. What an opportunity has been missed here. Where's the bitterness towards the losers who booed him, the organization that chose to replace him with a left-handed hitter who is four years older than him, or, if nothing else, one last jibe into how much he enjoyed unleashing holy hell on the choke artist Mets? If nothing else, tell us how much you're going to miss freezing your ass off in the crappy Philly weather, or how you're so happy to have finally made some real money from a team that knows how to reward a star like you.

C'mon, Pat. Show a little originality.



Boo, Pat, boooooo.... you could had been so much better. Now, when Jim Eisenreich left, *his* letter was great!

Spring Into Hope

Today as I worked on the Shooter Fantasy League Rankings (three leagues this year, and yes, I need help), I turned on the Phillies-Cardinals game. Your starter today for the Fightin's is Chan Ho (Pliss) Park, the possible fifth starter and immediately derided off-season free agent acquisition, given that he'a always been an arsonist outside of Chavez Ravine.

Here's the final line for Chan Ho: 4.2 IP, 3 H, 0 Rs, 6 Ks. And that's a Cardinals lineup with Albert Pujols, Rick Ankiel, Ryan Ludwick, Khalil Greene and Colby Rasmus. He had good movement on a lot of breaking stuff, and got some hitters to flail on stuff that bounced. If he didn't have a 61 on his back, you'd be officially encouraged.

The announcers talked about how Jamie Moyer has been helping Park to have more confidence in his change-up, and how he's truly healthy now for the first time in years. He's also grown a freaky three-quarter beard, which just looks all kind of wrong on an Asian gentleman; in his post-pitch interview, I kept expecting him to speak in dubbed dialogue.



(Oh, and nice work by the local affiliate to rarely switch to commercial ion the inning breaks on the HD channel. I knew the economy was bad, but is it so bad as to have no ads at all?)

Now, in the grand scheme of things, does this matter? Probably not: Park has a career 4.34 ERA over 1846 innings for a reason, and the Phils will be his fifth team in the last five years. It's one thing to pitch well in a more or less meaningless preseason game in Clearwater, Florida; it's an entirely different matter when the home crowd is surly and the ball is carrying well to left.

But, well, less of Kyle Kendrick is an almost unquestioned benefit, and it's not as if Park doesn't have the talent and stuff to be an above-average fifth starter and overall asset. If I were drafting in an NL-only deep league, he might be worth a last-round grab. And that, in a nutshell, is why you should never watch spring training games while you are making your rankings...

MLB Preview: Philadelphia Phillies

"World Champion Philadelphia Phillies."

That's what the receptionist says when you call the team, and you can feel the actual genuine happiness as she does it, despite clearly having this as part of her office routine for the past six months. It's also something that still seems a little unreal. I mean, really -- the Phillies? They didn't have an ungodly payroll, a freakily productive farm system, a witch doctor GM, a tradition of championships... none of that, really. If it weren't for the century of combined failure from the four Philadelphia pro teams, it would have just seemed well, entirely random.

But last year exists, and the Hangover Year potential is strong, of course. It's also not helping that the team that many came to love has been more or less scattered to the winds to date, with Chase Utley rehabbing his hip, Jimmy Rollins and Ryan Howard toiling for the national laundry in the WBC, Pat Burrell exorcised to Tampa Bay and the usual split-squad and extended roster action of the usual spring training.

But let's get to the point: Can they do it again?

In a word, no.

Ruben Amaro Jr. is the GM these days, and here's what he's done...

> Let Burrell walk to bring in Raul Ibanez. Now, Ibanez is a good hitter and will enjoy going to the weaker league and hitter's park. He also is, unfortunately, older and far more left-handed than Pat The Bat, neither of which will play well later in the year, especially against teams that have good left-handed relievers.

> Brought in Chan Ho (Pliss) Park to compete for the fifth spot in the rotation or a bullpen role, at the cost of $2.5 million. Park did put up some useful numbers last year, but he's also 35, has never been useful outside of Chavez Ravine, and also faded last year. Having already seen what happens when Park goes to a hitters park when he was young, why on earth would anyone pay to see what happens when he's old?

> Signed Ronny Paulino to compete for the back-up catcher role. Um, OK, whatever. Carlos Ruiz is 30, Chris Coste is 36, and while both are nice enough players, Paulino at age 27 is a nice fallback, at least until Lou Marson takes over. Hokay, whatever.

So, why can't they repeat, in addition to the two fairly weak personnel moves?

1) Brad Lidge won't be perfect again.

Not to say that he'll be bad, but well, it would be helpful if he were. Considering how improved the Mets are this year, and that the Marlins are absolutely loaded with good your arms, sliding back a game or two could matter. A lot.

2) Jamie Moyer won't go 16-7 with a 3.71 ERA again.

Now, I loves me some Jamie Moyer; I'm hoping like mad that he'll somehow piece together 54 more wins over the next 4 to 5 years and become the Last 300 Game Winner Ever. But in this park, with the miniscule margin for error that any 46-year-old has, let alone one who throws much slower to the catcher than on the way back... well. If you get 12-10 with a 4.5 ERA from a guy that takes the ball every fifth day while eating 180 innings, that's a win, but it's still significantly worse than last year.

3) They'll miss J.C. Romero a lot in the first 50 games.

While Howard, Utley and Rollins get the publicity as perennial MVP candidates, the secret sauce of the team, especially in the playoffs, was the lockdown bullpen work of Lidge, Romero and Ryan Madson. If you were behind after 6 innings, the game was over.

With Romero out, they'll have to lean more on less reliable arms like Park, Chad Durbin, Scott Eyre and others; they've felt good about J.A. Happ, but still, that's a big leap. Last year, the late inning guys were sharp at the end of the year because they hadn't been overused. With Romero gone until June, the chance of that happening again are remote.

4) Lefty overload.

Seriously, the best right handed hitter on the roster, assuming that you don't want to give that designation to switch-hitters Rollins and Victorino, is Jayson Werth. And, well, Werth's 29, and has never stayed healthy in his prior career. Let's just say that I'm not thrilled by the odds that he'll be up to carrying the entire load against top lefty pitchers.

5) Hangover Decisions.

When you win a World Series, there is an inevitable move towards letting some things ride. After all, the champions should get a chance to defend their crown, and how bad could Replaceable Player X be, when they won it all with him last year? For the Phillies, the hidden bummer players of Pedro Feliz (at 33, not getting any better, and little more at this point than a tolerable glove at third), Ruiz/Coste at catcher (neither really shuts down the running game or hit), and, of course, Moyer. I realize that I'm not a nice person for saying that about Moyer.

So long as Cole Hamels is taking the ball, Brett Myers is on one of his good streaks, Cupcakes Blanton above league average and (most importantly) Utley, Rollins and Howard are all healthy and productive... well, there's a reason they have a trophy. But a second seems unlikely. (And no one should have a problem with that, really.)

Prediction: 82-80, third place in the East.

Blogrolling for a cold February Tuesday

Let's start it out with some alt-country, just because that's the vibe of the day, folks.



Major League Jerk with the Phillies preview. These are always fun when the writer hates the team, but has to have respect anyway.

Nerf is 40. You are old. And kids today are pussies for not being able to throw a real ball. This message is brought to you by the Shooter Brother, who is even older than me, and never cottoned to such nancy-boy foam. He also never got why I used to hide in the ease closets to avoid getting into games with him and his friends...

My old editor is still pushing the poon over at the Carnival. Nice moment here for Reggie Bush to have to suffer through his girlfriend's thing. Stars! They're just like us!

Media Post slobs the NHL's knob for, among other things, the outdoor game in Wrigley, embracing YouTube, and having increased ratings for its games on NBC and the Stanley Cup Finals, Personally, I think it's just that they've been away from the Lemur's clutches.

And finally, Eagles Porn to warm up the soul, as Brian Dawkins does his Wolverine impersonation on the Super Bowl winning QB. I think you'll be safe wearing his jersey in town for decades to come.

Epic Drop: Top 11 Sports Fan Steps to the Dark Side

Tonight's link will make some of you nod your heads and say, "See, that's why I don't play fantasy sports. I'm not a sellout degenerate gambler like you are, Shooter."

At which point I'll congratulate you on your virtue, and hope like hell that I'll see you at a poker table. Soon.

(Insert E-Vile laugh here...)

That's What I Call A Win-Win

The Philadelphia Phillies may have won the World Series, but less people actually saw their victory. Fox's baseball coverage drew the lowest ratings since Nielsen Co. began tracking the audience 40 years ago. The five-game series, won by the Phillies 4-1 over the Tampa Bay Rays, drew an average rating of 8.4. The lowest previous rating was 10.6 in 2006, reports Bloomberg. Fox blamed poor weather as a factor.

In that Fox and Bud Selig suffered, and Philly Fan can keep their trademark "No one likes us" attytood. (Boston Fan, you might want to take note of this. You'll be less annoying that way.)

Epic Drop: Top 10 reasons for everyone to be happy the Phillies won

And just to wash away that taste of honest emotion, here's a tailored list of happy snark. It's always sunny in Philadelphia, indeed.

World Series, Game 5: Phillies-Rays Re-Start

After a 46 hour rain delay, it's Geoff Jenkins, a mostly useless guy all year, out to hit for Hamels. Ball one is greeted with a thunderous roar. He swings and misses at 95, up and out. Balfour gets strike two, 96 and low; he looks sharp, but he's also breathing hard, and misses outside, even faster. He might be gripping a bit... and he overthrows again, taking the count full. Jenkins then absolutely crushes one to the wall in center right, some 395 feet away. He might have thought third, but that would have been a bad thought, given that Bossman Junior picked up the ball.

Rollins drops a first pitch bunt to third, moving Jenkins to third. Perfect execution, if not the best possible result. It's on Jayson Werth to get the run home.

Ball one, wild high. Rays warming two lefties in the pen. Ball two is away, still 95. Werth watches strike one inside high, and I don't think Balfour has thrown anything that has varied in speed. Another fastball in the same location is fouled back, and Balfour is smelling the strikeout at 2-2. Werth fists off a ball to very shallow center that Iwamura can't control, as the infield was in. That's scored as a hit, Balfour is done, and Howell will come in to face Utley. Who says this team is cursed, or that Charlie Manuel doesn't have the touch? He could have used Dobbs or Stairs; instead, he chose his third-best left-handed pinch-hitter, as if this was, you know, a normal game. Wow. 3-2, Phillies.

We come back from commercial to see Grant Balfour throwing his glove like an angry man. It's a darn shame. Darn shame!

Howell starts his night by throwing to first. Wheeler throwing, presumably for Burrell, assuming the inning gets that far. Strike one is on the outside corner with movement. Ryan Madson starts throwing for the Phillies. Joe Buck apologizes for Maddon using Balfour and Howell instead of Electric David Price, because that's what Fox does -- though the pitcher does hit fourth for the Rays next inning, and it's impossible for American League teams to use double changes. Gosh darn National League rules!

Strike two is on the corner, and strike three is a good curve, getting Utley to flail. Impressive stuff from Howell. Howard on, and since he doesn't have a man in scoring position, this should work out. Werth gets picked off and makes second base anyway, as Howell's move to first wasn't fast enough. Dammit, Jayson, now Howard can't get a hit! And to prove my point, Howard pops up to Longoria to end the inning. It's Ryan Madson time, and the Phillies are nine outs away.

If the Phillies hold the lead... Cole Hamels wins the game. Though to be honest, I never quite got that. Geoff Jenkins pinch-hit for him; he was in pitcher's position when the Phillies scored. Shouldn't he be the winning pitcher? Ok, well, no. Moving on.

Fox shows a ton of commercials, and I'm left to wonder if every post-season baseball telecast has to go 3 hours. Fox is wise to the Hamels win possibility; if he gets it, he's the first to ever start 5 and win 5. Navarro is the first hitter of the seventh, and Madson starts him off with an unhittable tailing fastball. Strike two is a change that's moving down; Navarro fights it off. Ball one misses inside by a little. Romero and Price warming up in opposite bullpens. Strike three is 94, on the inside corner and down, and damn near perfect. Sit down, meat.

Rocco Baldelli is up next... and he fists one to left, carrying nicely and gone. Crap, crap, crap. Tie game. Honestly, he didn't look good on the swing, but Baldelli just got it out anyway. Crap, crap, crap. 3-3 game.

Bartlett rips a base hit to left on an 0-1 pitch, and that looked more comfortable than the Baldelli homer. Bartlett is a stolen base threat, and Howell will stay in the game to bunt. One does wonder how much he's done that. Strike one is missed, but Howell gets it done, and it's two out, man on second, for Iwamura. Manuel has seen enough of Madson, and he's picked a bad time to be human. Romero in after an ungodly amount of commerce.

Fox goes for the Baldelli mouth job, and I guess it's pretty damn warranted. Jerk. Romero looks Bartlett back to second. Strike one is a good fastball on the inside corner. Chad Bradford getting loose. Utley then makes a great play to keep Iwamura's slow roller in the infield, then catches Bartlett getting greedy on the turn; it's a close play at the plate, but he's clearly out, and the inning is over. Aggro base running giveth, and aggro base running taketh away. I suspect Fox is quite happy with their evening of programming so far tonight -- this game is crazy tight. 3-3 going into the bottom of the seventh.

Howell starts Burrell with a strike. Two nights ago, Pat the Not Bat took two walks, but he's still 0 for 13 for the Series. Fox is in full goat mode for him, showing the graphic every time he comes up... and Burrell responds with a mashed ball to left that would have been out in the months that God intended baseball to be played. Bruntlett in to run for him. One wonders why he's not on third, but then again, it's Pat Burrell. Chad Bradford on for the Rays to turn Victorino around. If I'm the Rays, I go with Wheeler here, in that Chadford is prone to ground ball singles, but Joe Maddon will do what Joe Maddon will do...

Victorino shows bunt, and watches ball one. Again, this is setting up the bottom of the order, but Manuel has had the touch. Second pitch is bunted foul; Bradford can't be an easy guy to bunt, really. Manuel comes out to talk about something, and McCarver is dreaming of a balk call. Strike two is a whiffed bunt, and so much for that strategy. Bradford doesn't strike out a lot of guys, and he won't get Victorino either, as he pulls the ball to Iwamura. Man on third, one out, for Feliz.

Rather than go to Dobbs, Manuel leaves in Pedro. I suspect he likes Feliz v. Bradford more than Dobbs v. Electric David Price. Strike one is fouled off... and the third baseman rips a ball up the middle that would have been a single, even if the infield hadn't been up. The Phillies take the lead back, and Charlie Manuel is a genius. 4-3, Phillies.

Carlos Ruiz up as Maddon leaves Bradford in. The sidewinder gets ahead 0-2, with Dobbs on deck. Price warming. Ruiz loops one up the middle, but Iwamura makes a great play to get Feliz. Two outs, and that keeps Romero in the game; he grounds out on the first pitch. Curious.

Romero starts the eighth with a 2-0 count to Crawford, then hits the inside corner for strike one, and misses low for 3-1. Not the man you want to walk. Strike two is a marginal low call, but Fox gives it to him easily. On the full count, Crawford laces it to center, and the Phillies relieves are picking a bad time to be hittable.

Bossman Junior up now, and this is major scary... for all of a pitch, as he taps a perfect double play ball to Rollins. Phew. Monstrously big. Carlos Pena up with 2 outs and nobody one, with Longoria on deck. The lefty will be Romero's last hitter, and he overthrows ball one. Big nerves time for everyone, really. A pinched high fastball makes it 2-0 to the first baseman. Scott Eyre throwing with Lidge, probably just for company. A floater makes it 3-0. 94mph at the letters makes it 3-1, but not a great pitch; if he tries it again, Pena probably jumps on it. The 3-1 pitch is a fastball inside that Pena serves to Bruntlett in left for the first scoreless inning of the re-start. We are three outs away, with Longoria, Navarro and ... Baldelli due in the ninth. Insurance would be Quite Helpful, and the Phillies will have the top of the order to try to provide it.

Price and Aybar in, so Maddon does know how to double-switch; Aybar will hit fourth in the ninth, and replaces Pena. The Electric One is low on the first two pitches to Rollins. Rollins gets under the third pitch and it dies on the track to Crawford in left, and it's time for Fox to show us grainy Philly championship footage.

Up yours, Fox.

Werth dives out of the way of a low cutter -- let it hit you! -- for a 2-1 count, then fouls off heat. Strike three is called on the outside corner, and Electric David Price has two outs.

Fox then craps on us with the Billy Penn Hat legend, and we see some dinky statue on top of the Comcast tower. Um, whatever.

Up yours, Fox.

Utley gets to 3-0, then watches 95 mph on the outside corner for 3-1. The Electric One will make a lot of money playing baseball. The 3-1 pitch is about as bad as Utley has ever looked on a fastball, but the 3-2 heater is away, and Chase takes the walk. Insurance is up to Ryan Howard, and maybe he gets a fastball he can handle. A long ball would make many, many Phillies fans relax, maybe for the first time in three days.

Strike one is a high but moving slider at 87. Et tu, Electric One? Give the big man a fastball. Not on the second or third pitches, which miss. Crowd gets into it, and on Yet Another Slider, Utley steals second, more to show that he can, really. Bruntlett on deck, and he did hit a homer in game two. Fouls off strike two, off speed again... and then Price finally gives in and throws a fastball right by Howard. We're into the top of the ninth, with Brad Lidge needing three outs for immortality. 4-3, Phillies.

Well, folks, this is everything that Phillies Fan could have hoped for from this bizarro game -- a lead in the ninth with the closer that hasn't failed all year. Everybody convinced that we're doomed yet? I know that I am. Evan Longoria looks like Albert Pujols. Dioner Navarro looks like a left-handed Albert Pujols. Rocco Baldelli has already homered tonight. We're doomed.

Strike one is a nasty slider that moves all over. Strike two is 94 mph heat that Longoria is late on. Joe Buck tells us about Lidge's last home run allowed. Up yours, Fox. Longoria watches the slider miss, low and away. He also looks at 93 mph heat up and on the hands. Heat outside, on the black, is fouled off. The slider gets him guessing fastball, and he pops it up. Utley squeezes it. One away.

Navarro gets a first-pitch slider strike. Useful pitch, that. A second one is out of the zone, and the catcher goes fishing. Strike two. McCarver warns of wild pitch strike outs, where the hitter reaches first. That's another way we're doomed. A broken bat single to right gets the catcher aboard, and we're doomed. Maddon pinch runs Fernando Perez, who scored the winning run in game two of the ALCS; he might as well have a baton. Ben Zobrist in to hit for Baldelli.

First pitch fastball at 92 is a strike. The Rays have stolen more bases in post-season than any other team ever. Ball one is a slider that misses outside. Curious that he hasn't moved on either pitch, but he goes on the second ball of the at bat, a slider that misses. Man on second, 2-1, and Lidge is 180 feet away from his first blown save of the season. Doom Time... and Zobrist's line drive is right at Werth in right. That's justice for Navarro's crappy single. Two outs, and Perez can't advance.

Eric Hinske, who also homered earlier in this series, hits for Bartlett. He's only here because Cliff Floyd got hurt. He has a World Series ring with the Red Sox last year. He's a white, left-handed, Albert Pujols. We're doomed.

A slow roller goes foul to first for strike one. He can't check on the slider for strike two, and Rays Fan, assuming he exists, has another beef with the men in blue. 0-2 count. Crowd huge. And strike three is a slider that Hinske seems to know that he has no chance on in mid-swing. And just like that, it's all over. Phillies 4, Rays 3, in five games.

The Phillies are the world champions.

No one in Philadelphia has to be from the town that hates any more.

Charlie Manuel's mom smiles.

Writing that made me cry.

Pat Gillick retires on top.

Brad Lidge is perfect -- now and forever.

Had 'em all along.

Philly Parade?

Supposedly a top 10 search term on Google, and far be it for me to turn my nose up at free search traffic from jinx-hating idiots who want to set themselves up for Phresh Rage at an Uncaring God.

So welcome, you rain-causing morons. Please stare at the ads, and maybe order a T-Shirt. Papa needs a new pair of shoes, seeing as his last pair were ruined by rain and tears...

Epic Drop: Top 10 silver linings for Philly Fan

Your link is here, but cheer up, Philly Fan... it's all happiness and sunshine and pushing those rain clouds away.

Plus, um, you didn't lose the game. And your doom-tastic fans notwithstanding, being up 3-1 in a tie game in Game Five of the World Series is still, um, OK. I guess...

World Series Addendum

Well, it's suspended now, and this is obvious, but what an edge for the Rays. They basically neutralized Cole Hamels despite a bad start from Scott Kazmir. They got Carlos Pena, and to a lesser extent Evan Longoria, off the schnied. They are putting the fear of choke in the leaders. You can use Electric David Price in the re-start. The home field advantage for the Phillies has to be through the floorboards with the weather curse. The only real drawback is that they have to get 12 outs to the Phillies' nine.

Oh, well. As Adrian Belew once sang, fear is never boring...

World Series, Game Five: Phillies-Rays: Washout

A relatively low-key national anthem from John Oates, substituting for Darryl Hall, who Fox tells us was sick. This is followed up by the first dick pill ad of the evening. Somehow, I think I'll live with frequent pissing for the ability to drive a car without, you know, possible death from fainting.

Rays' manager Joe Maddon moves the Longoria-Pena duo down to the 4-5 slots, moving Carl Crawford up to the 2 slot. This means a split of speed threats if they have base runners, since Crawford and Upton are their main base steals. If it's my team, I'm tempted to lead off with Crawford, who has been my best hitter of the series, and bump Iwamura to 9, as a second leadoff hitter. But then again, I'm wacky that way.

Joe Buck feels compelled to tell us that the Rays are resilient. Um, really? I was sure that if you got to the World Series, there's no way that you could have been tested before this.

Rocco Baldelli tells the nation that Carlos Pena is the Rays' spiritual leader. I need to know more. What are his teachings? How does he stand on free will versus determinism? Does he see himself as a new Messiah, or more of an apostle to some previous leader? Don't leave us hanging, Rocco.

First pitch at 8:30, and Hamels gets an up and in call. It's 43 degrees, and the Shooter Eldezt has been banished to the basement after annoying the Shooter Mom. After telling me she wanted to watch the game, she immediately grabs books and begins reading them out loud. As they say in "Rounders," women are the rake. They are the...

Iwamura flies out, and the ball seems to be carrying well to right again. Crawford lines a ball to Rollins, who drops it, but has enough time to get the speedster at first. Rollins then retires Upton early, and the aggressive Rays are out of the inning in 3 minutes and 7 pitches. Useful.

I switch over to MNF in time to see Hank Williams Sr. on my screen. And just that quickly, we're back to Fox...

Donovan McNabb reads off the Phillies lineup tonight, wearing shades and sporting a profound bass voice. Buck tells us that he's wearing the shades due to an eye poke during the Falcons' game, but we all know he's doing it to look cool. S'ok, Don.

Kazmir's first two pitches are wide, and Rollins patiently watches both. His velocity is reasonable, but he doesn't look too comfortable, and Rollins think he's got a walk on 3-1, but the umpire calls him back, correctly. The game gets delayed from there as Dioner Navarro has a mask problem, giving Fox enough time to show us the names of the struggling umpiring crew. A fly ball to Crawford in left ends Rollins, and Kazmir looks better against Werth... but once again, the pitch count creeps up, and we go to a full count. Ball four is borderline outside, but Werth runs to first and the umpire doesn't call him back, so the home team is in business... especially after Kazmir hits Utley on the first pitch. Two on for the red-hot Ryan Howard.

Kazmir goes right at Howard with heat, and gets him on 94 mph gas. There's a reason that Mets Fan cries when they watch him, folks. Burrell, who might be playing in his last game as a Phillie tonight (he's a free agent), has done nothing in the series. Again, Kazmir falls behind, and the umpire does him no favors with a tight strike zone. Burrell takes the walk, and the bases are loaded for Shane Victorino. Major stress inning, right away, for Kazmir, but if he gets Victorino, it's a plus.

First pitch to Shane almost gets the leg; I think he'd had stuck it out had he known it was coming. Second is low and away, and the lefty isn't going to get any calls with that kind of command. The crowd is primed to explode, even in a hitless inning. On 2-1, Shane delivers to left, and the Party Is On. 2-0, Phillies.

Fox flashes a graphic of how Kazmir has allowed 8 first inning runs in the post-season. Can Pedro Feliz make this inning monstrous? Not quite, as his looping single to left gets to Crawford too soon to score Burrell, who runs like a spastic turtle. It's on Carlos Ruiz, hitting a mere .417 in the Series. No action in the Rays' pen, which is a common failing of Maddon, but he gets away with it, as Ruiz flies to right. 29 pitches for Kazmir in the inning, only 14 of them strikes. Well, on the plus side, he'll still have Hamels to lead off the second. Oh, and an umpire that he's giving dirty looks to. That's a good idea.

Carlos Pena leads off with a first pitch bunt out to Howard. Not exactly imposing behavior from the cleanup hitter. On the next pitch, Longoria flies out to Victorino. That's 5 outs on 9 pitches, folks -- hard to do. Navarro works Hamels for a walk, very smart, as Hamels feels a little squeezed by the umpire as well. He gets Baldelli on the second pitch he throws, and King Cole is through two on 17 pitches, having retired 6 of 7 hitters.

You know, when I saw the first ad for "Role Models," I thought, wow, what an odorous little movie. Now that I've seen 30 to 40 ads for it, I'd like the people who made it hunted down and killed. I can't imagine this is a unique reaction.

Kazmir faces Hamels, who hit a little in the regular season, but it's not like he's going to do much with Kazmir throwing strikes and gas; the Rays' lefty gets a 3-pitch strikeout. Fox has mic'ed up Shane Victornio, who seems like a puppy in human form, to see how much he can chatter about the wind. The answer is: a lot. Rollins doesn't look comfy early in the count, but works it full before flying out to Baldelli in right. Another 2-0 count to Werth, as Kazmir seems determined to never have a very easy inning; Werth obliges him by fouling off a bunch of pitches. The Bearded One then lines a 2-out single to left to give Utley something to swing at, but he can't take advantage. Note the Hidden Damage of Extra Pitches: Kazmir threw 19 there,and has 48 through 2. At this pace, the Rays will be going to the pen by the fifth. 2-0 Phils after two, and the Shooter Eldest is off to bed. So much for her World Series fascination.

Why does Sprint think I'm buying a cell phone from a heartfelt black and white testimonial? On second thought, why does anyone buy a cell phone -- don't we all just have them by now?

Hamels starts the third with Bartlett, who works out of a 1-2 hole to push it full. Hamels ends it with a grounder to Rollins, and once again, the Rays' leadoff hitter is out. Cole then treats Kazmir to the same 1-2-3 strikeout good night that Kazmir gave him, and Hamels works quickly to Iwamura; he looks like a man who enjoys being indoors. Iwamura gets the Rays' first hit on a liner up the box that Hamels nearly spears, but Cole's not a hockey goalie. A first pitch ground out from Crawford shows the Rays to continue to not work the pitcher into deep counts, and Hamels is through three with just 33 pitches.

How many years, really, do we need to see a rabbit toy beat a drum to show the worth of a battery? The over-under is, sadly, 30.

Kazmir starts the third with Howard and whiffs him on three pitches; the book of Get Runs Early seems to be holding firm. Burrell still doesn't have a hit in the series, and that's true after a three-pitch at bat and fly out to right. Kazmir gets Victorino on three pitches as well, and that's his first great inning of the night -- and only 9 pitches. He's at 57 through 3, and has the bottom of the lineup coming up.

Hamels back out quickly for the fourth to face the heart of the Rays' order; the game is moving as fast as Fox will allow it, really. Hamels keeps getting strike one, and Rollins gets Upton on a 1-1 grounder that looked like the speedy outfielder could have made it a tougher play, but Fox is too wrapped up in interviewing Maddon to show a replay. The rain picks up as Pena fouls one off his foot, which will probably end his bunting. The first baseman hits one hard to right that Werth misses against the wall, and his first hit of the series is a double with one out. A better right fielder makes the play; a faster or more determined runner gets to third. It doesn't matter as Longoria gets his first hit of the Series as well, a liner past Rollins, and the Rays are on the board. Worry creeps in with the rain, as it's suddenly 2-1, Phillies.

Hamels seems a little shaken, and goes 3-0 to Navarro. He gets a charity high strike to make it 3-1, then a perfect double play ball. Phew. The inning ends, and it's 2-1, Phillies... but facing a Rays' team that has some definite life. Kazmir to face the bottom of the lineup in his bid for the shutdown inning.

All series long, the bottom of the Phillies order has made the Rays work harder than vice versa. Feliz fouls off three in a row before waving at a fourth, and that's Kazmir fifth strikeout, and third of the last four hitters. Ruiz laces a ball into the hole in left, and Hamels is up to bunt. Pitch one hits Hamels in the finger and we're in a big yikes moment, but he gets back in and doesn't look too bad bunting the second pitch. Unfortunately, it's too hard, and Hamels has to run the bases at first. Worrisome. Kazmir works quickly to Rollins, and the count goes full as the crowd makes as much noise as wet and worried people can make. Seriously, the weather here is pretty miserable right now, and while it's good that Rollins is making Kazmir work, it's less useful that Hamels is on the bases. Rollins gets the walk, and it's up to Werth. Something of a stress inning for Kazmir, and the rain is looking like it's coming down in sheets on HD.

Kazmir seems to be having footing issues as he falls behind 2-1, but the count evens up. Phillies are fouling off a lot of pitches this inning, with Werth looking increasingly locked in. Kazmir, sensing this, throws a slider that bounces to take the count full. Pitch number 25 of the inning stays out, and the crowd is starting to get into it. Kazmir at 82 pitches now, and Werth just keeps prolonging it, now getting up to 10. You just hope that Hamels isn't getting gassed on the bases. Ball four is low and away, Werth has reached base three times, and it's loaded with two outs.

Buck and McCarver note that no Rays are up in the bullpen, which is Maddon's common mistake; Electric David Price is starting to jog, but not throw. It's on Utley.

Kazmir's best slider gets Utley chasing. Count evens on a low fastball. A bounced slider makes it 2-1, and Navarro saves further excitement. Ball three is close but high. It's crazy that the Rays don't have people working right now. Strike two is close but on the black inside; quality stuff there. Full count to Utley, and Grant Balfour finally gets up. Utley makes it academic with a groundout to Iwamura; a huge opportunity missed there. The Phillies have loaded the bases 21 times in the post-season, and have scored only 4 runs in those situations. Gahhh. At least they will be rid of Kazmir very soon, who has thrown 90 pitches in 4 innings, and made Ryan Howard look bad in the process.

Hamels to face the 7-8-9 hitters; how will he be after the hit hand? 2-0 to Baldelli in heavy rain doesn't help ease any minds, and then the wind makes a routine pop up to shortstop more or less impossible. Baldelli gets on with an error charged to Rollins, and that might be the first leadoff hitter on for the Rays. Utley then makes a fantastic double play on a tag and spin move; terrible base running by Baldelli, who really should have been more aware of where the ball was, but that's just huge. Maddon lets Kazmir hit for himself, and Hamels handles him on three pitches. That's quick if not terribly easy -- in this weather, nothing is easy -- and Kazmir has to go right back out and work after a high pitch inning. It'll be up to Howard, Burrell and Victorino to make him pay for it.

Say, umps? The game's now official. Why not just call it? Save us all some drama, really.

Kazmir looks shaky against Howard for the first time tonight, and it's a 4-pitch walk. If that's it for Kazmir, you really have to wonder why Maddon didn't hit for him... but he leaves him in to face Burrell. Grady Little, anyone? The forecast says heavy rain and 40 degree weather, and Philly Fan is going to have to earn their good times tonight. Kazmir falls behind Burrell 2-1 as Balfour warms, and Kazmir is having continued footing issues. I really do suspect that if this wasn't a Series game, we'd have been in a rain delay a long time ago. Count evens on a chased slider, and goes full on what should have been a called third strike, at least according to Fox. The Rays are really not loving these umps. Burrell fouls off three more before getting ball four, low. Kazmir's last pitch of the night is also a strike according to Fox, and the Phillies have two on, no outs, for the reliever.

Kazmir certainly has cause for complaint with the umpire, but the simple fact is that when you walk six guys in 5 innings with hit batsmen, you aren't getting any calls. Either that, or this umpire wants everyone to get wildly ill from as much exposure to wind and rain as possible. It winds up being a ferociously long delay as the grounds crew work on the entire field, almost as if Kazmir had left for an injury, but we're finally back to live action. Shane Victorino, the key to all kinds of good moments for the Phils, is up, with the Rays seemingly expecting a bunt. If I'm Charlie Manuel, I'm not doing it; the man has 13 RBIs in the postseason.

Oh well, shows what I know. Strike one is a bunt, foul. Second pitch is a pop up to left, and that's good and useless. Gahhh. Feliz fouls three pitches off to start the at bat as the conditions are really awful now, and Pena manages to corral it for the second out. Fox makes a big deal out of a lack of infield fly rule. Balfour gets up on Ruiz and gets up after a loud liner to right, and the third useless pop up of the inning ends it. Still 2-1, and we're into the sixth.

I know people who are at this game, and no, I'm not jealous of them. Yikes.

The grounds crew comes out again for the infield, and what might have been a quick game has really slowed down dramatically from all of the yardwork. Hamels gets Iwamura on a high and wide strike to lead the sixth, and the umpiring is really getting questioned now. Hamels' third strikeout is backed up by Crawford chopping out to Howard. Hamels is missing more in the bad elements, but he's still working quickly and confidently. On a 2-2 count, Upton manages an infield single on a grounder up the middle to Rollins. Fox thinks Upton won't run in the mud, and the lead he's taking says no. Buck and McCarver are now mutinying on the umpires because Upton is slower in the mud. Waah, Fox, Waah. Upton doesn't seem to be conceding the point, as he draws throws to first... and Upton steals the base anyway. I guess we can keep playing after all!

1-1 to Pena. Temperature down to 39 now. Yeesh. Rays' dugout yapping a lot. Hamels pulls the string on a change, and it's 2-2. Philly Fan does itself proud with noise in misery. Pena makes them hate him even more by calling time. Pena lines a single to left, Upton scores, and the game is tied. Crap, crap, crap. Game's tied, and Pena's the reason why. A passed ball strike to Longoria sends Pena to second. It's nightmare time for Philly Fan. Longoria lines out to Victorino, and that's the sixth inning; 2-2 tie... and that's your rain delay.

Well, on the bright side, Philly Fan... anyone that can throw a post-game riot in this weather has well and truly earned their tipped car. More later if we have game.

World Series Notes: Game Four, Phillies-Rays

The following Small Points for your amusement, from tonight's game...

> There's over the top, there's wildly over the top, and then there's Patti LaBelle. For those of you who missed the national anthem, let's just say that she's, um, unique.

> Andy Sonnastine was the member of the Rays' rotation that I thought the Phillies could really handle, and he didn't disappoint, pitching only four innings and allowing nine baserunners. Part of this was bad luck with a blown umpire call at third in the first ining (Justice for Jamie Moyer's non-win!), but still -- he wasn't sharp at all. The Rays won't use him again this year.

> A word on Joe Blanton. I've watched the man pitch a lot for my Oakland A's, and what you saw tonight? Not him. Cupcakes just keeps the ball low, works fast, is a reasonable 4 or 5 starter that's miscast in the top of the rotation. He's not dominant, with nasty filth stuff everywhere, and a power bat to boot. Seriously, the Rays' should check the DNA.

> Giving that Akinori Iwamura won gold gloves in Japan and has spent this series making errors... I'm wondering what the exchange rate for gold is on the Nippon exchange. (Your alternate joke here is that Iwamura is Japanese for Whoops.)

And of course, after writing this, he makes a great play for a double play in the seventh. The lesson: never say anything.

> When you're going good, you're getting the breaks. To a more cursed Phillies team, a line drive off the pitcher is a hit, a hurt pitcher, the prelude to a big inning.

For the Phillies tonight, it was Blaton with the kick save to Pedro Feliz for an out. Just another 1-5-3 putout.

> With his no-doubt home run, Blanton entered The Pantheon of unlikely Philly World Series pitching heroes. It's a short list (Marty Bystrom! Bob Walk! Dickie Noles! Jamie Moyer), but with one more win, he'll never buy another beer in this town.

> In the seventh, Ryan Madson makes what might be the pitch of the game, getting Bossman Junior Upton to whiff on a 3-2 change with two on and two out. Bossman Junior is going to make a lot of money in his MLB life, but he's not the same guy that killed Boston. Thank heavens.

> If you saw Frank Calliendo in public, and he was criminally assaulted in front of you, would you do anything to stop it, or would you just try to commit every second of it to memory? These are the things that I think about during heavy rotation commercials.

> Another heavy rotation commercial reaction... does it diminish the accomplishment of Indiana Jones in the last movie that the villainess that he foiled was pregnant? (The actress Cate Blanchett, of course.) Having seen the Shooter Wife through two pregnancies, I say no, no, a thousand times, no...

> In the seventh, Fox's heads talked about how Charlie Manuel was interested in working Brad Lidge for more than one inning tonight. As someone rooting for the Phillies in this series, I'm not interested in him having to do that. A game without drama is OK, guys.

> The stat of the series: Pena and Longoria, 0 for 29, 15 whiffs. Ye Gads.

> Just so the rest of the non-Philly world is aware... Ryan Madson's career WHIP is 1.36, and he's never thrown this hard before. I have no idea how he became Utterly Freaking Dominant, but more power to him.

> In Tampa, the Phillies got a split despite having little from Rollins, Howard and Burrell. In Philly for the last two games, Rollins and Howard have come alive, and life for Philly Fan is much, much better...

> In Game Three, after getting picked off second base in what seemed to be a crushing mistake, a colleague assailed Jayson Werth for his doofy facial hair. Tonight, after a no-doubt insurance homer that made it 8-2 in the ninth? It's Distinguished.

> Ryan Howard's eighth inning home run, off lefty Trevor Miller, that made it 10-2... was the baseball equivalent of the good guy in a pro wrestling match running in and cleaning house. Seriously, he should have just Miller with a steel chair. It'd have been less obvious.

> In the surprisingly relaxed ninth, JC Romero makes an error put the leadoff man on, and just as we go to the Here We Go feeling... the next man makes out, and the man after that, with an emphatic strikeout of Jason Bartlett. Because, well, these aren't the Red Sox, and an 8-run lead in the ninth agains the bottom of an order that hasn't hit much for the first four games of this Series... well, it's not getting eight runs for the heartbreak loss.

> Your final out as the Phillies move to a 3-1 Series lead is JC Romero going upstairs on Rocco Baldelli, treating him like yesterday's newspaper. You know, the one that talked about how close and exciting this Series has been. Domination.

> Post game, Joe Maddon talked about Blanton having a mark on his cap, and wondered to some extent if Something Was Afoot.

As someone who wants the Phils to win, keep thinking that, Rays. It's got to be cheating. Think a lot about that.

> As the game moved to the ninth, other Philly Fans in my IM circle spoke of how odd it was to see their team like this... which is to say, cruising to a win, getting every break, marching on. Almost as if they were, well, Not From Here.

Earlier today, in the Eagles' game, the Falcons called their third and final time out before the two minute warning. On the subsequent punt, the refs blew the call badly, awarding a muff fumble to the home team. Since the Falcons had no timeouts left, they couldn't challenge, and that was, well, that. Brian Westbrook broke a touchdown run for the suck out cover that made the final score look a lot easier than it was.

My town never gets that call, or, at least, never remembers getting that call. Perhaps it's a new day; perhaps this is what 100 seasons of futility coming to an end might, well, feel like.

Because this Phillies team? It doesn't feel like it's from that place.

And if Cole Hamels and the suddenly red-hot Phillies' bats can get it done tomorrow night, that town will no longer exist.

And the congregation sings, Amen...

World Series Diary: Game 3, Phillies-Rays

Small moments from what was going on during my NBA fantasy league draft prep (what, you think I'm going all hardcore in my bandwagon fan ways?)...

> As the Rays are announced, the Phillies played some odd children's novelty song about fish. I have no idea why.

> The game starts an hour and a half late, just so I don't have to miss anything from putting my kids to bed. Thanks, MLB!

> Jennifer, the girl who buys huge talking cameras from Circuit City? Let's just say that HD does no favors.

> In the bottom of the second, Carlos Ruiz goes yard in his effort to make sure that the pitcher doesn't lead off the next inning. Nice job, Carlos!

> You know, some year, both leagues of baseball are going to actually play by the same rules. And when they do... well, watching Jamie Moyer and Matt Garza "hit" isn't terribly entertaining.

> At least early, Moyer is getting the calls and looking like his regular season self. When he strikes out BJ Upton to end the third, five million Philly Fan males in their mid '40s and up, all across this nation, pumped their fists hard enough to pull something.

> I like David Bowie too, but doesn't Lincoln know that "Major Tom" never returns to his family, and that this might not be the thing I want from my new vehicle?

> The Rays really don't look, as a pitching staff, like they have a lot of experience holding base stealers in line. A possible drawback for AL teams... but then Garza-Navarro throws out Jimmy Rollins at second with relative ease. Curious.

> If Samsung really wants to sell me a cell phone based on a fake movie with two women... um, have the women kiss each other already. You're welcome.

> When Moyer brushes someone off the plate, do they ever charge the mound? I'm thinking no, because the ball never gets there fast enough to appear malevolent...

> Joe Buck seemed wildly amused by Philly Fan chanting "Eva" at Evan Longoria. Clearly, it doesn't take much to amuse Joe Buck.

> On a 3-1 count to Carl Crawford with 2 out and no on one in the fourth, Moyer continued to work quickly despite falling behind... and got Crawford to fly out weakly to left. That's confidence.

> How much would you have to be paid, Dear Reader, to watch "Role Models"? I'm betting it's less than "Frank TV." But similar, right?

For me, the bidding starts at... $40.

> New Joss Whedon series! Woo hoo! Eliza Dushku and Amy Acker! I can't wait until Fox screws Whedon over and cancels the series before it has a chance to do well...

> People talk about the running game, but in the bottom of the third, a caught stealing cost the Phillies a run. Worth remembering, if only because so many people seem to regard stolen bases as a panacea.

> Shane Victorino called out on strikes in the fourth, and Fox shows it as a strike on their pitch graphing thing. Which doesn't, it seem, have any adjustment for the height of the hitter. If that's a strike to Shane, he can forget about patience for the rest of this game.

> Through five, Moyer is damn near magical -- getting calls to expand the zone, jamming the lefties with 80 mph "heat", keeping every player off balance, and bringing a tear to the eye of everyone but the presumably existent Rays fans. Seriously, who doesn't love Jamie Moyer?

> Leaving off the fifth, Carlos Ruiz draws a walk. This, after a homer earlier. The Rays do know that Ruiz is a .220 hitter, right?

> At the end of five, it's 2-1 Phillies... and it feels like it could easily be 4-0. The Rays' run was borderline luck, the Phils ran themselves out of a run, and if Ryan Howard could ever make contact with a man on third... anyway. Deep breaths.

> What Moyer did to the Rays' lefties tonight was just textbook. In the sixth, he had Upton going back to the bag as he came home, while freezing Carlos Pena at the plate. Just nails.

> The final out of the sixth is Longoria hitting it a ton to left, but it doesn't carry at all, and Burrell settles under it in the warning track for the final out of the sixth. Moyer's reaction on the Fox cameras was priceless; no fist pump, nothing but a blink and a look down as the inning ends. Just another game, you see... and then he turns and extends his tongue like Gene Simmons, in the same look of relief that you might see from a Little Leaguer.

Again, I ask... who doesn't love Jamie Moyer?

> In the bottom if the inning, Chase Utley shows the Rays how to hit a home run by absolutely mashing one to right. 3-1 for the home team... and then Ryan Howard jumps into the Fox announcing booth to tell Joe Buck that he's a flaming idiot, as he mashes a hanging curve from Garza. Nearly the same place as Utley's ball, and it's 4-1.

> I know that a lot of people like "House." But every time I look at him, I just see the secondary comic lead from "Black Adder." Does anyone else have this problem?

> Moyer gets the ball in the seventh, and Crawford greets him with a great bunt. Jamie makes a fantastic play, but the umpire blows the call. Ouch. The Phillies get men up as Moyer works to Navarro, who eventually doubles on a 1-2 count, but Crawford doesn't score. Manuel leaves Moyer in to face Gross as all of Philadelphia starts gripping hard. He rips a ball to first, where Howard makes a great play to get the out at first... and that's all for Jamie.

> Chad Durbin comes in and gets a weak grounder from Jason Bartlett on the first pitch, but it's a run as Navarro scores. 4-3 Phillies.

> Final line for Moyer: 6.1 IP, 5 hits, 3 ER, 1 walk, 5 strikeouts. And if the umpire gets the call right, he's probably still working, with the chance to finish 7. He can win, he can't lose. And we can all love him unconditionally, and not live in mortal terror of him working in a Game 7. (OK, that's a lie. All Game Sevens are mortal terror.)

> Scott Eyre in for Durbin after a bad walk to Aybar. He gets ahead of Iwamura, then misses all the way to a full count. And that is what playoff baseball is... just maddening. Eyre then blows Iwamura away to end the inning.

> I dream, in my lifetime, of not hearing someone sing "God Bless America" in the seventh inning stretch.

People, it's a baseball game. And the moment in a baseball game where we get up off our lazy asses and discover just how much our asses have atrophied. It's not a patriotic moment; it's a moment where we celebrate the fact that we are goofing off work and eating crap. We sing a song about that. Not America. Enough.

> I know things have gone badly for America this month, but are we all that excited about a free taco? That's, um, 20 cents of bad food there, people. Move along.

> In the bottom of the seventh, Chad Bradford gets a 1-2-3 inning, as he is wont to do. This one will come down to whether Madson and Lidge can get six outs with no runs. If you like tight games, this is your Series.

> This fall, Jack Bauer will save cute black kids. Why do I suspect that this is the year that the "24" ratings go through the floorboards?

> Upton leads off the eighth inning with an infield hit, and it's Deep Breath time. He should be able to steal a base off Madson, or just distract him enough to make a mistake. And for the second straight hitter, he goes down 2-0... battles back to 2-2 with pure filth... and goes full again. It's a good thing I'm not a Phillies fan, or I'd be a basket case... as Pena whiffs on ball four. Lucky.

> Upton steals second easily on ball one to Longoria. Mr. Upton is going to make a lot of money playing baseball... and he steals third and scores on a bounced throw. Gahhhh.

> Longoria grounds out to second on a play that would have scored Upton from third, not that this will mollify anyone. A blown save for Madson.

> "Four Christmases" with Vince Vaungh and Reese Witherspoon? I'm starting the bidding at... $30. Only because I suspect it'd be short.

> Burger King is trying to rip off "Flight of the Conchords." I can't imagine this will actually work as an ad campaign, but what the hell, it's not Howard Eskin accosting strangers. It's a step up, really.

> J.C. Romero gets Crawford to fly out on the first pitch, and we're to the bottom of the eighth, with the heart of the Phillies lineup

> Is anyone else offended by the idea that steelworkers and roadies can do everything better than, well, the people who already do these jobs? I've been a musician; most roadies, um, kinda suck. Even if they do have walkie-talkie phones. And if firefighters were in Congress, they'd probably just set the damned building on fire. (I know, I know, most of y'all think that's a step up...)

> Bradford walks Werth on four pitches to start the eighth and end his night. It's a damn shame that Werth doesn't run the bases like Upton, really.

> Howell in to face Utley and Howard, with Balfour warming up. Note, for the record, that Maddon probably can't use Electric David Price, due to the 45 pitches he had him throw in Game Two. Hunch Managers can kill you.

> Very, very ballsy... Werth steals second, and just makes it. Navarro with another very good throw, but the Phils are high-percentage base stealers for a reason... and then Utley chases ball four for the whiff, and Werth gets picked off second. Gahhhhhh. Phillies running themselves out of innings tonight, while the Rays run themselves into runs. Howard strikes out looking to end the inning, and it's tied going into the ninth.

> Romero starts the ninth, not Lidge, as Manuel treats this like a game, rather than an opportunity to start experimenting. A 3-pitch strikeout of Navarro starts it. Romero gets neither of the first two calls on Gross, then gets him on a 2-1 roller to Utley. Manuel stays with Romero despite Bartlett's good numbers against lefties, and Ruiz shows off with yet another great block on a 1-2 bouncer. The count goes full as Bartlett holds off on a slider, and Bartlett nearly hurts himself with a foul ball. It's hair pulling time in the stands, but Romero gets the routine grounder to Rollins, and we're to the bottom of the ninth, with the Phils needing a run to win.

> The bidding on "YESMan".... $50. Just because Jim Carrey hasn't been funny for a really, really long time, and repeating the words "Red Bull" that many times might require therapy.

> Bruntlett starts the ninth by getting ahead 2-0. Balfour warming again.. and on a 2-1 pitch, Bruntlett takes one for the team, off the back of the leg. That's it for Howell, and it's Bunt Time for Victorino (to set up Feliz / Dobbs for the Hero Role. Pack a lunch, folks, because this will take five minutes or more...

> Just enough time for Fox to tell us the time! Riveting television!

> Many changes that probably won't matter, and it comes down to Victorino versus Balfour, Bunt Time. Strike one on a nice pitch away... and then the Rays self-destruct with a Balfour wild pitch, a Navarro wild throw, and Bruntlett is on third with no outs. Wow, wow, wow.

> Balfour completes the walk to Victorino. Speaking of which, all hail Shane for getting out of the way of the wild pitch, because that really should have hit him... and if it had, it's just first and second with no outs, rather than the man getting to third.

> Dobbs hits for Feliz, and Maddon is going to walk him and face Ruiz with five infielders. As a Phillies fan, I'm all for this play, in that it gives me a reliever with control issues with no margin for error. Hell, on ball two, Balfour nearly bounced it. It's on Ruiz.

> Stairs on deck to hit for Romero. Ball one, high. Ruiz chases ball two, a high fastball, to even the count. Balfour humps up with a 96 mph fastball to get strike two. He's shaking Navarro off a lot, and Ruiz fights off another 96 mph fastball to foul it off. Ball 2, up and away -- everything up, which is somewhat promising... and at 1:47 am, Ruiz chops a swinging bunt down the line. Longoria bare hands and throws wildly home as Bruntlett scores, and the Phillies win 5-4.

Just your average five and a half hour long ball game, folks, Had 'em all along. See you again tonight...

Today's Video Moment For Phillies Fan

Don't be Strindberg. The series is tied.

The Series Pick

Twenty eight years ago, the Phillies, fresh off an NLCS that I still think might have been the most exciting playoff series ever played, opened up the World Series at home against the Royals. The Game One started wasn't ace Steve Carlton, but their #5 starter, Bob Walk. In front of the home faithful, Walk fell behind 4-0, but held on as the offense bailed him out. He worked seven innings and got the win, setting up Game Two for ace lefty Steve Carlton. After another Phillies comeback, the home team lead 2-0, with Carlton getting the win.

There was an ease about Carlton that was palpable. His best pitch, a slider, was rarely a strike; it produced whiffs and feeble ground outs. He worked quickly and without emotion, and had led them for most of a decade. When he was on, it was as if the batter simply wasn't there. He won four Cy Youngs in a decade, and might have been the second-best starting lefty in MLB history, behind only Warren Spahn.

They expected to win behind him, and most of the time, they did.

Cole Hamels reminds me so much of Carlton, I keep expecting him to stop talking to the media, develop freaky Zionist conspiracy theories, and go live as a hermit in Colorado. (There's just something about left-handers, really.)

The first game of the World Series is, in this era of baseball, absolutely essential. With the 2-3-2 travel plan and the better league having home field (the All Star Game coin flip notwithstanding, the simple reality is that the Coke/Pepsi BOS-NYY Salary War has ensured a higher standard for AL teams for most of a decade now, as the won-loss record in interleague has proven), it's absolutely imperiative for the NL team to take home field in the first two games. There's just too much pressure on the trailing team to overcome a series deficit on the road for the final two games.

The Rays are from the better league, have home field, and are playing as free and loose as you possibly can at this point in the season. The Phillies are carrying 25 years of failure in the uniforms, along with the collective Win Or We'll Cry Forever baggage of their entire metropolitan era. The Rays are also more balanced, hand-wise, on offense than the Phils, and have more lights-out plus arms than just about any team in baseball. Finally, there's this: long layoffs at this point of the year are rarely good for a team. See the Tigers against the Cardinals, or the Rockies against the Red Sox. You don't want a ton of time off in October.

However, the Rays have one very large problem.

They don't have Cole Hamels.

The Phillies' left-handed has been dominant in the post-season after being a borderline Cy Young candidate in the regular season. By the numbers, he had a 3.09 ERA with a 1.08 WHIP in a bandbox in the first 162 games. In the playoffs, he's 3-0, 1.23 ERA, 0.86 WHIP. When they've needed him in the postseason, he's simply been better than anyone else working in MLB this month. When he's needed strike three, he's delivered -- with a slider that's got such good late movement, he's even fooling the umpires with it. Go ask Jeff Kent how much fun it was to go against him with money on the table.

He also gets the ball tonight.

Facing him is Scott Kazmir, who, I am certain, will own the Phillies... for about 5 to 6 innings. After that, his pitch count will be problematic, and maybe the Rays will make a critical defensive mistake -- they gave the Red Sox seven extra outs with errors in the ALCS, which made that series much more dramatic than it had to be. They'll also go to a deep but undefined bullpen with a manager (Joe Maddon) who was near Grady Little on the Shaky Level in the ALCS.

When the dust settles, the Phillies will have a one game lead. The Rays will be a little tighter. And the AL Mystique will be broken.

In Game Two, I'm expecting a sloppier game, with Brett Myers facing James Shields. The road team will swing the bats better against the right-hander, and if they give Myers any kind of lead early, he'll pitch like a guy with a ton of ability, rather than the special needs child that he frequently resembles. Both teams will attempt to run more, but Carlos Ruiz is better at cutting down that aspect of the game than Dioner Navarro, and the Phillies are simply the most efficient base stealing team in MLB. I think there's a very good chance that they go back to Philly up 2-0, which is good -- because they are going to need the wiggle room.

In Game Three, the Rays have their most pronounced pitching edge of the series. ALCS hero Matt Garza will face aged lefty Jamie Moyer, who was beyond useless against the Dodgers. At home and against a Rays team that will be in Win Or Die Mode, I think he falters -- unless Garza is a shot fighter after his marathon effort against the Sox. In any event, this is the game that I think the Rays win.

Game Four will have Philly Fan clamoring for the return of Hamels, as the schedule gives us Andy Sonnastine against Joe Blanton. Charlie Manuel will not cave, despite the specter of not having Hamels available for a Game Seven, because Manuel just doesn't care what people think of his moves (witness Myers being his closer last year). It will also pay off for him, as Blanton will keep the ball in the yard and the Phillies will capitalize on the hittable Sonnanstine (24 homers in 206 IP this year, and right-handed to boot). In the true turn game of the Series, the Phillies' bats will carry the day.

Game Five is as close to a double-elimination game as you can get, before Game Seven. The Phils will be doing everything possible to end it without going back to Cowbell Hell. THe Rays will grip the bats too tight. Scott Kazmir will give up some walks to the howling mob.

And the Phillies will have Hamels, 28 years and 6 days after Carlton won the town its only baseball world championship, to win the second.

Phillies in five.