What I'm Saving You People From

The follow is a chat from Five Tool Ninja and the Original Mookie, that was then forwarded to me to use as a post. It was inspired by Travis Henry's marijuana arrest.

Top Eleven Topics That Have Been Completely Drained of All Potentially Humorous Content

11. The futility of the Cubs.

Example: Q - How bad have the Cubs been for the past 100 years?

A - They haven't won a World Series title since 1908.

10. Brett Favre's retirement status

Example: Q - Why is Brett Favre considering a comeback?

A - I was once in Green Bay on a Sunday afternoon in November, and the Burger King was actually quite crowded.

9. Fantasy sports geekiness.

Example: Q - How many fantasy sports geeks does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A - When joining a fantasy sports league, many players choose a humorous team name that exaggerates their sexual prowess, or implies that others in the league may not be heterosexual.

8. Najeh Davenport

Example: Q - How many NFL career TDs does Najeh Davenport have?

A - That's disgusting.

7. Soccer

Example: Q - Why don't soccer players use their hands?

A - They're from Europe.

6. Chris Berman's nicknames.

Example: Q - What was Chris Berman's nickname for Curtis Martin?

A - I don't believe he had one.

5. Boston sports renaissance

Example: Q - How many championships have Boston teams won collectively since 1999?

A - I hate you.

4. Mike Piazza's heterosexuality.

Example: Q - Why does Mike Piazza have a moustache?

A - Despite his shaky defense toward the end of his career, he's widely considered to be the best hitting catcher of all time.

3. The lameness of top ten lists

Example: Q - Why are DMt's posts so lame?

A - He's probably unmarried, and living in his mom's basement.

2. The NHL

Example: Q - What does NHL stand for?

A - Hockey gets terrible TV ratings.

1. Steroid use in the MLB

Example: Q - Why did the former HR champ cross the road?

A - To inject himself in the buttocks with steroids.