Epic Drop: Top 10 Reasons Why Jason Varitek Is An All-Star

Hey kids, guess what? The Red Sox have placed a guy in the All-Star Game -- and, realistically, it's plural -- that have absolutely no reason to be in the event. What were the odds, really?

Anyway, here's your list for the benefit of Jason Varitek, who might not even be the best catcher on his team, let alone in the American League.

Normally I could give a fig about All Star Game rosters, since that would involve, you know, caring a fig about the All-Star Game. But, um, Varitek's terrible. Really, quite, finally, horribly. If he had a massive hot streak, he could get all the way to average. And, well, terrible players should not be in that game. No matter what laundry they are wearing.