Loud People Find Me

Why is it that if you're stuck in a train with guys who have to talk at 2-3X the decibel level required to be heard on a public conveyance, they are required by law to be:

a) inane

b) profane

c) the same?

You know them already, don't you? One guy with a higher pitch voice who speaks a little too quickly, curses like he's trying to impress, and laughs at his own "jokes."

His sidekick isn't quite as adenoidal and doesn't talk as much... but he's always worse, because your ear has a much harder time shutting him out. Baldness will be involved, along with really questionable eyewear.

Cell phones will be present and used, and just when you're convinced that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, since you can't even catch a few Z's on the train from all of this pinhead yammering... you start to wonder if you're just jealous of their friendship, since it's not like you haven't probably sounded the same way when you knew your seatmate, and what they are talking about could always be worse.

Then you hear the details of their conversation, and all charity drains from your head. Inevitably, a truck will be involved, beer, encroaching levels of misogyny, and a general contamination among other people on the train, so there's no hope of not being annoyed.

At least, until you realize that by putting them into your blog without their name, they'll so feel the burn. That'll teach 'em.