Punishment Names

Back in the '90s, before Donald Sterling was even pretending to try with the Clippers (we knew it as The Stanley Roberts Era), I had a simple but potent idea that would prevent tanking.

Here goes: if you were the last place team in your division that year, the next year, you had to be known as the Clippers -- no matter where you were from. So we'd have six Clipper teams a year (or seven, in the event of the Original Clips not finishing in the cellar). If this system were in place, the Celtics wouldn't have won the championship last year -- that'd be a Boston Clipper Crown. Which I think would have been easier for all of us to take, really. It also would (usually) work as a public service to a time-stressed partial season ticket plan holder, and prevent the media from ever taking the Knicks seriously, since they'd frequently by Clippers instead.

Anyway, just because the Assocation does not cop to my mad genius (they called me mad! mad! mad, I tell you!) does not mean that your fantasy league can't benefit. So feel free to saddle your cellar dweller with one of these kill to avoid monickers. This list is chosen for football, since that's what's filling up these days (and speaking of which, my auction / keeper league has slots open if you are so inclined -- email me at dmt shooter at gmail dot com).

Cardinals

Temple Owls

Frenchies

Republican Guards

Hobbits

Klingons

Rainbow Warriors

Oilers

Marching Band

Redskins

OK, that last one's just low. No one should be called the Redskins.