The Real Charles Barkley Question

You know it's a slow week in the sports blogosphere when a half dozen writers feel compelled to tell us what it's like to watch the Round Mound of Renown play bad golf.

Look, I loves me some Chuck more than anyone, and have done so since he was a pogo-stick action figure for the late model Erving Sixers. You won't find a bigger fan, or a defender of the fact that while he's a motormouth, 90 to 95% of what he says is true, and the rest is mostly said to just get a rise out of people. I even forgive him for doing everything short of painting Trade Me on himself to get away from the piss-poor Sixers, and for never failing to abuse his "replacements" on that team like they owed him money.

But here's the thing... why aren't there *more* celeb-athletes like the Chuckster?

It's not like many of them don't have FU Money, which is really the biggest thing that has made Chuck what he is. It's not that there isn't a wide number of folks who haven't found Jebus, and hence, feel fine about picking up the tab for bar-wide rounds of Patron. It's not as if they all don't, to a man, envy him for the product endorsements and award-winning television show gig.

I'm not expecting everyone to become telegenic and comfortable enough in their own skin to play the fool for fun and profit from time to time. I'm just wondering why more of this favored class doesn't seem to get the essential reason why people love Chuck -- which is that Chuck loves life, and especially his. And why wouldn't you?

Chris Webber, if he had half the sense that Chuck does, would be doing a commercial series for a timepiece company making fun of his misstep in the NCAA championship. Dikembe Mutumbo would get on a rap album and speak in a finely clipped British accent. Michael Jordan would get himself back on Saturday Night Live and let them have at it. Etc., etc. But no one does, because unlike Chuck, they've made the terrible mistake of taking life seriously, even though they are rich beyond the dreams of men. And for the life of me, I can't understand why. Don't they realize that Chuck's beating them in this, well, living thing?