The Prodigal Nellie Big Man Returns

Word in the blogosphere is that Chris Webber, currently collecting a ridiculous amount of money in the final year of that Maloofian Monstrosity of a contract that Billy King just had to have on the Sixers, may sign with the Don Nelson Warriors.

No, seriously. (Yes, I know, it took me a while to stop giggling, too.)

From the Contra Costa Times, which sounds like a minor paper to Eastern eyes, but is actually something of a leader out in the Bay Area, especially when it comes to sports...

Two team officials confirmed that the Warriors are in discussions with Webber, who played his rookie season with the Warriors in 1993-94. There is some belief the two parties are close to an agreement.

A different source confirmed that Webber and Warriors coach Don Nelson, who separated on bad terms in 1994, have talked in an attempt to put the past behind them. Warriors executive vice president of basketball operations Chris Mullin has said a big man is on his wish list.

So let's get this straight... two guys that more or less destroyed the franchise nearly 15 years ago are going to reunite. They both have outsized egos, questionable commitments to the defensive skills or commitment that actually wins basketball games, and a need to be seen as The Reason Why The Team Is Winning. We're going to add that to a mixture that has Baron Davis, who's great but fragile, and the legitimate insanity that is Stephen Jackson.

By bringing C-Webb in, we'll also retard the development of Andris Biedrins, the W's current big man who might actually have some interest in playing defense. We'll also mess with the head of Al Harrington, who has given them some decent bench production against strong odds that he'd pout, and utterly destroy them defensively, just as he did to the Pistons last year. And these are the Nellie Warriors, so it's not like there is defense to burn here.

Finally, there is this -- um, Webb would be a fine basketball player in a wheelchair league. With slow chairs. He can not run. He can not jump. His playoff record is nearly as bad as Nellie's. Other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs. Lincoln?

I realize this just sounds like the bitterness of an ex-Sixers fan here, but didn't they trade Jason Richardson for Brandan Wright, and draft Patrick O'Bryant in the first round, for some kind of actual reason? Or is Nellie just trying to orchestrate the exact same screw job as 1994, so he can feel young again?