Top 10 signs your fantasy baseball team is already hosed

10) You are living in fear that the newly released Corey Patterson is going to wind up cuckolding your sleeper pick in another town

9) The players you named in the auction were met with baffled and awkward silence

8) You went all-in on the Opening Day DL Double Play Combo of Ian Kinsler and Jose Reyes (hand raised)

7) Your ace starting pitcher spent March answering questions about velocity... of balls leaving the park

6) You drafted guys who were sent to the minors, and not for "clock" reasons

5) You're already fielding pity trade offers

4) The waiver settings matter way too much

3) If you are in a keeper league, you are wondering when to start tanking

2) It's an effort to check your team page already

1) You're already counting the days until fantasy football leagues start