Top 10 reasons why Ben Roethlisberger's latest scandal is nothing to worry about

10) As he's told people over and over again, every time something like this happens, absolutely nothing happened

9) Took precautions to make sure that nothing would be remembered, if you catch our drift and I think you do

8) It's not like he's got a pattern of tremendously bad decision making in off-season life choices

7) Even if the allegations are true, he's got two-time Super Bowl winning immunity

6) He's being accused in Milledgeville, GA, which can't possibly have the grade of trim that he's used to in Pittsburgh

5) The off-duty cops that were with him, and couldn't possibly be moved to lie by BR's money and star power, said nothing happened

4) If push comes to shove, he can just take a DNA test, like any other white trash reality TV star

3) Everybody knows you have to collect at least a half dozen false rape allegations against a star athlete before it gets serious

2) Pretty sure that if he were in a situation like this, he'd hold the ball too long, try to do too much, and wind up taking the sack

1) Unlike Kobe Bryant, Michael Vick, Tiger Woods and so many others, Ben hasn't made the tactical error of sinning while black