NFL Week 16: You Crap The Bed

This week on You Crap, we're brought to you by Etsy, the eBay for breath taking moments of Craft Gone Wrong. When it's time to make your excretions fashionable, go to Etsy for gifts that will make her say I Want A Divorce. Show her that you care so much as to think that she's up to her ears in $40 dollars of crap!

You all know how we play the game. Each week, we give you the chance to out-think people who are actually paid to make NFL decisions. Now, let's all play... You Crap The Bed!

1) You are Tampa coach Radio Raheem Morris. With 5 minutes left to go in the fourth, you are down by seven to the Saints, with a 3rd and 1 from the Saints 19 yard line. On third, you give the ball to Cadillac Williams, who is stuffed for no gain. On fourth down, you choose to:

a) Go for it and run it again, since the Saints can be had on the ground and the running game is the best part of what you've done today

b) Kick the field goal, since you are going to need it to win the game anyway

c) Um, seriously, run it or kick the field, as rookie QB Josh Freeman isn't exactly the model of accuracy

d) Throw it to WR Antony Bryant, who might be your best offensive player, or TE Kellen Winslow Jr., your leading receiver for the day

e) Throw it to third down back Earnest Graham, who has been your best pass catching option out of the backfield today, and just might be the subject of a little bit of defensive attention

If you choose (e), congratulations... you crapped the bed! But your special teams bail you out with a punt return touchdown to tie the game with 2:25 left, the defense gets similarly lucky with a missed field goal at the end of regulation, and you hit the winning figgie in overtime to pin back to back losses on the Saints. Sometimes, it's better to be lucky than smart.

2) You are Oakland coach Tom Cable. Down 23-9 with less than five minutes left in the fourth, you have a first and goal from the Browns 2 yard line. In the next three plays, you choose to:

a) Run the ball with power back Michael Bush, who has ran the ball for over five yards a carry today

b) Run the ball with speed back Darren McFadden, who has ran the ball for over three yards a carry today, and has also been a good pass catching option, so the defense can't just key on him to run it

c) Run the ball with one of your speedy wideouts, since that is, well, something they can do, unlike catching the ball on pass plays

d) Run the ball with QB Charlie Frye, since that prevents you watching him throw it

e) Put the game in the hands of Frye on a throw to WR Louis Murphy, rather than, say TE Zach Miller, WR Chaz Schilens or McFadden

If you choose (e), preferably while huffing glue, congratulations... you crapped the bed! And you've won a near-interception (don't worry, Frye will toss another pick in a couple of minutes) and drive stop, along with Yet Another Loss that you can blame on your QB, rather than, say, the coaching staff that can't seem to adjust to limited QB talent. Bring in JP Losman!

Well, I'm afraid that due to operator illness, that's all we have time for this week. But remember, with a little fiber, determination and inspiration -- or, if all else fails, something that makes you feel so very, very pretty -- you too can... Crap The Bed! Good night, everybody!