Friday, February 27, 2009

Betting The 103

ESPN's Peter Gammons saying there's a "very good chance" the rest of the 104 names of players to test positive for PEDs in 2003 will be revealed within the next month.
Now, seriously, Las Vegas... do I have to do all the work for you on this one? Give us an over/under bet on how many members of the 2003 All-Star Game were taking the needle!

National League All-Stars (First the starters, then the pitchers, then the reserves)

Jason Schmidt -- Power pitcher, hurt soon after, played in Balco Land... Call it 3 to 1 against

Javy Lopez -- Fell apart fast, but catchers do that -- 5 to 1 against

Todd Helton -- A lot of injuries recently, power has fallen to hell, screamed a little too loud at earlier allegations... 2 to 1

Jose Vidro -- Never really was good enough to show a performance spike -- 10 to 1

Scott Rolen -- Prototype injury breakdowns and erratic power, friends with McGwire -- 3 to 1

Edgar Renteria -- Still around, durable, some performance spike but not huge -- 8 to 1

Jim Edmonds -- McGwire teammate, injury prone, erratic power -- 4 to 1

Albert Pujols -- Epic power, some injury experience, a Cardinal but no real spikes -- 6 to 1

Gary Sheffield -- Always was a misanthrope, performance spikes with contract years, moved to a lot of teams, many teammates to rat on him if he was juicing -- 6 to 1

Bary Bonds -- Um, duh. That's one.

Armando Benitez -- Closers always spike; 10 to 1

Kevin Brown -- Huge chance, given the money and injury history, along with the bad personality and cheating history -- 3 to 1

Shawn Chacon -- Yes, he really was an All-Star once; 12 to 1

Eric Gagne -- Have to think he's likely given the career path -- 4 to 1

Russ Ortiz -- I'm as surprised as anyone to see him here; was in BalcoLand then -- 7 to 1

Mark Prior -- Prototype, but I suspect Dusty Baker was the real career killer here -- 8 to 1

John Smoltz -- No real spike, still around, would be surprising and disappointing -- 15 to 1

Billy Wagner -- Kind of a hyper-competitive ass and injury-prone, but most closers are like that -- 9 to 1

Mike Williams -- Pretty sure he couldn't afford them, and if he did use, he got bad product -- 15 to 1

Woody Williams -- If he did them, he must not be able to reach home plate without -- 25 to 1

Dontrelle Willis -- Never really a flame thrower, seems too flaky/genuine for cheating, and as a Marlin, was probably skipping meals to pay his bills -- 15 to 1

Randy Wolf -- Just not good enough to be a user -- 12 to 1

Kerry Wood -- See Prior -- 8 to 1

Paul Lo Duca -- No power, but injury prone and a homicidal jerk -- 3 to 1

Richie Sexson -- Was always big, was never good again, but was pretty durable -- 7 to 1

Luis Castillo -- Not enough power for drugs -- 15 to 1

Marcus Giles -- Surprisingly apt career for a juicer -- 5 to 1

Aaron Boone -- Have to think that both Boone Brothers are highly likely cheats -- 3 to 1

Mike Lowell -- Red Sox players are always clean -- 14 to 1

Rafael Furcal -- More interested in DUIs than ROIDs -- 12 to 1

Luis Gonzalez -- Durable with a big power year, might have used and gotten out -- 8 to 1

Geoff Jenkins -- Perfect career arc and injury history for it -- 5 to 1

Andruw Jones -- How else can you explain him? 3 to 1

Rondell White -- I suspect even he forgets he made this team -- 10 to 1

Preston Wilson -- The big year was probably more altitude-related than needle, but still, a huge year and then ill health -- 8 to 1

American League All Stars

Esteban Loiaza -- What, you don't think he was immoral enough for it? 3 to 1

Jorge Posada -- Too long a career and too durable -- 12 to 1

Carlos Delgado -- Similar to Posada at first base; if he did use, it wasn't in 2003 -- 12 to 1

Alfonso Soriano -- One big year and some injury history, but the big years also coincided with salary drives and hitter parks -- 6 to 1

Troy Glaus -- Another prototype juice career, and a McGwire teammate -- 7 to 1

Alex Rodriguez -- Our second locked down juicer

Garret Anderson -- No real power spike to speak of -- 12 to 1

Hideki Matsui -- Acne? Check. Injury prone? Check. On a team with cheaters? Make it three... 8 to 1

Ichiro Suzuki -- Hyper-durable, no real power spikes, I'd be well and truly surprised -- 25 to 1

Edgar Martinez -- Too durable with no spikes, but did have some huge years -- 15 to 1

Lance Carter -- Was he in the league long enough to take some? -- 20 to 1

Roger Clemens -- Number three with a thrown roid rage bat bullet

Brendan Donnelly -- Ex-scab, cheat and general piece of garbage with some big years -- 4 to 1

Keith Foulke -- I'd be surprised, given that he threw a change, but he did play for the Tejada/Giambi A's in BalcoLand -- 12 to 1

Eddie Guardado -- Not really a flamethrower, and highly durable back in that day -- 15 to 1

Roy Halladay -- Lock durable without super speed, a shock if he did -- 20 to 1

Shigetoshi Hasegawa -- Who remembers or cares? Probably him, for one -- 15 to 1

Mike MacDougal -- One of those bad team non-stars, durable but not good -- 15 to 1

Jamie Moyer -- Obviously a juicer, given his lack of durability and raw stuff, and yes, That's Sarcasm; would be higher odds if he hadn't come out so strong against A-Roid, leading to "Methinks he dost protest too much" potential -- 20 to 1

Mark Mulder -- Wasn't a flame-thrower, but huge injury issues and a Balco A -- 9 to 1

C.C. Sabathia -- Only if the roids came in donut form, but maybe the Yankees require it -- 9 to 1

Barry Zito -- Doesn't throw hard or get hurt, but a Balco A -- 12 to 1

Ramon Hernandez -- Balco A, migrant worker, no real huge power spike -- 12 to 1

Jason Varitek -- Durable and faded is not really the roid way -- 12 to 1

Jason Giambi -- Fourth man in!

Mike Sweeney -- Classic roid career, but it's hard to see how any Royal cared enough to cheat -- 12 to 1

Bret Boone -- I'd be surprised if he didn't -- 3 to 1

Hank Blalock -- More of a park effect, but some durability and performance spikes -- 8 to 1

Nomar Garciaparra -- Probably the most likely Red Sox user, given the injury history and intermittent power -- 4 to 1

Melvin Mora -- Too durable with limited spike -- 12 to 1

Magglio Ordonez -- Big production, injury history, fought with his manager, but still didn't seem the type -- 9 to 1

Manny Ramirez -- Despite the Bad Tooth's protests, there are performance spikes here, and he's smart enough to tell someone else to dose him -- 8 to 1

Vernon Wells -- Severe spikes and injury history, but might have been too young to use at this age -- 9 to 1

Carl Everett -- Capable of any thing at any time, with the freaky kind of personality that says Chemically Enhanced -- 6 to 1

Dmitri Young -- I'm amazed that he made the team, and he did have injury issues, but roids don't usually make you fat -- 12 to 1

I'm putting the over/under at 14.5. Give me the over!

2 comments:

Steven Gomez said...

I can't recall who I knew that had the inside source, but Donnelly and The Boone definitely roided. Edgar may have at a couple of points but generally did not.

Vern said...

Dude, I bet Prior was juicing harder than Tropicana.

Funny that there are two stadiums named after juice companies.