Wash Someone's Face Like A Patriot

This is a new one on me. The practice from the NHL is to get your gloves as rank as possible, then shove your hand in your opponent's face, so that they flip out and draw a penalty. The article gets into the mechanics of how it's done, as well as how the NHL has no penalty for it, beyond of course, the generic unsportsmanlike conduct.

Now, lest you think that this kind of disgusting practice is dependent only on the Canadians and Others that make up the NHL... when I was in the Bay Area, a friend of a friend covered the Golden State Warriors. He also had the misfortune of getting close to Adonal Foyle, the Warriors' undersized and undertalented center. Let's just say that Foyle didn't, well, stress personal hygiene on game day, as part of his effort to make sure that he could get better positioning for rebounds. It's also common knowledge that many NBA players will file their fingernails into sharp points, once again to get any possible edge. Take a close look at any power forward, you'll see marks all over the place. It ain't pretty.

Finally, of course, there's the ultimate story of Art Donovan, the Colts' defensive lineman and author. He had a great anecdote of playing against the New York Giants at the Polo Grounds in New York, the week after the circus had been to town... and discovering large clumps of elephant crap on the field. So he and his defensive line cohorts spent the better part of the day shoveling handfuls of ele-poo into their opponent's faces before the snap, and laughing their asses off. They also got beat, of course, because playing defense against enraged linemen while laughing is not easy.

Which is all a very roundabout way of letting you know that the dear Massterminds have started an online petition to look into the awful and tragic events of the last 100 seconds of the Super Bowl. No, seriously.

Far be it for this blog to recommend going over and signing the petition with the equivalent of a face wash, or a Foyle Ploy, or the Donovan Toss. That would be, you know, less than sporting, really. And if the aftermath of this NFL season has taught us anything, it's that returning acts of sportsmanship in full and equal measure isn't just the right thing to do... it's the only thing to do.