Halftime Notes

Fat white people run to see senior citizen Tom Petty's vaguely phallic light display. I'm not saying he's old. I'm saying he's ancient. In HD, he's already dead. But at least he's playing "American Girl" to start off, which, let's face it, has never been the same since "Silence of the Lambs."

He follows up with oxygen and "I Won't Back Down." Fox cuts to some 20-somethings whose parents taught them this song, enjoying themselves. One hopes they show us some nip before Tom does...

You have to give it up for his roadies, who are somehow even older than Petty. He slows it down with "Free Fallin'" as the crowd waves the lights that someone had to give them. Pity poor Mike Campbell, who has to go to one of those double-neck dork guitars, which can't be easy to lift at his age. Why, oh why, can't the NFL ever give this gig to a band that's anywhere close to their prime?

Dirty Davey wonders "are the people massed on the fields those who were earlier in the stands, or are they a separate population without game tickets and only admitted to the stadium for the halftime show?" Excellent point, in that the people on the field appear young and enthused, which wouldn't describe any of the Pats or Giants fans right now, really...

Petty kicks this party up to Upping The Dosage Stage with "Runnin' Down A Dream" -- proving, as always, that there is a CONSPIRACY against the Black Man (Prince only got three). However, it should be noted that all of Petty's songs can be reduced to a two minute essence, so they just more or less feel that long anyway.

Show wraps up, and all kidding aside, Tom Petty Is Really Old. Even older than Paul McCartney, and the Rolling Stones... and Mike Campbell deserves better. Thanks for the lack of wardrobe malfunction, though.