16 and My Oh Face
A quick five points from tonight's Festival of Fun...
1) In the first half, when a Patriots DL did not get called for an eye poke and Bryant Gumbel questioned whether it was, in fact, the right call... because it did not look intentional... I had to give him the Mass Ter Mind golf clap, because I was unaware that eye pokes needed intent now for penalties. You learn a lot from the NFL Network, you really do.
2) What is it with NFC East teams and the inability to manage the clock in the last few minutes of a game against the Patriots? My theory is that Coach uses his Incredible Hypnotism Mind Power to distract them.
3) If you are game planning against the Giants, is there a reason why you ever not give Fredo Manning a blitz? No one, and I mean no one, has ever been better at running backwards, soiling themselves, and turning an incompletion or five yard sack into a fifteen yard killer.
4) If you ever wondered if God is on the Patriots side... consider the fact that Sam Madison does a solid job on Randy Moss for most of the night, then gets hurt just when the team needed the kill shot score. (That, plus the refs. We own it all.)
5) As happy as I and all of the other Mass Ter Minds are, the failure to cover the spread was very, very disturbing. Not enough to limit the hour-plus long orgasm during the 22 unanswered points in the second half, but enough to make it less than perfect. Sad, really -- they were so close from making it. Oh well, there's always next year.
4 comments:
The worst part about this is that I overcame my revulsion and actually rooted for the Giants. I scrubbed my skin raw until I realized I'd never remove the stain, so I just sat on the floor of the shower and wept hot, bitter tears. Of course, if they shit the bed in the playoffs it'll be all the sweeter. The Patriots, I mean. I know the Giants will embarass themselves in the next few weeks.
"No one, and I mean no one, has ever been better at running backwards, soiling themselves, and turning an incompletion or five yard sack into a fifteen yard killer."
How quickly Bobby Hoying is forgotten.
"The worst part about this is that I overcame my revulsion and actually rooted for the Giants."
Were I a for-real Giants fan*, I think I would switch to following NASCAR until Manning is gone.
* (as opposed to a lesser-of-two-evils Giants fan, which I have been for two of the last three weeks)
Hoying didn't have as much experience as Fredo, because he didn't get as many plays. Fredo's got years to perfect it.
Besides, Hoying was better at turtling up when not touched. That was his finishing move.
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