Finding the Real Cause of the Eagles' Problems

My fellow Tools,

I have to confess, I was more than a little bent out of shape by the Eagles' loss to the Seahawks yesterday, and not just because it contributed to falling below .500 again in the picks for the year, or the Eagles final real chance to qualify for the playoffs and prevent meaningless December football.

No, the bigger issue is that it's frustrating to root for a team (and yes, I still do root for the Eagles, even after my conversion to Masstermind status, much in the same way that you'd root for a troubled relative to stay off the booze) that has many of the elements of a winning team, but a losing record. Let's review.

The Eagles have:

a) The best running back in their franchise history in Brian Westbrook.

Yes, he's better than Wilbert Montgomery, who if you look at the career numbers, fumbled quite a bit -- and while the very old folks would vouch for Van Buren and Timmy Brown, um, not so much. Here's a scary thought for Eagles fans: the top 10 in that list probably include Keith Byars, Ricky Watters, Herschel Walker, Charlie Garner and Heath Sherman. It's been a long 75 years.

b) The best coach in their history in Andy Reid.

We all know the man's weaknesses, but once again, this is not a list that's covered in glory. He beats out Dick Vermeil and um, Greasy Neale (you have to love the old era for nicknames, don't you?) for this honor.

c) A usually competent offensive line, especially for pass protection.

So long as Winston Justice isn't involved, the QB usually stays upright, despite putting the ball in the air 3 out of every 5 snaps.

d) A defensive line that is better than previous years at stopping the run, and does have a number of sacks.

Trent Cole, especially. The unit may not be as dominant as expected, but they aren't terrible.

e) A relatively easy schedule.

Games against teams with a good record: Green Bay, Dallas and New England. If you want to throw the Giants in that lot, you can, but any team that has a QB that looks like he's going to cry at any moment, and a coach that looks like he's going to throw a temper tantrum... well, let's just say that the fans of the New York Football Giants may be the least happy 8-4 fans in the history of the league.

So, when faced with a Seahawks team that has turned in some real stink jobs on the road, in a must-win situation, coming off perhaps their best performance of the year in New England... I had hopes. Dreams, even. And they all went poof, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why. That was, until I started looking at this with my new and improved Masstermind Brain.

Now, the simplistic reason why the Birds lost yesterday is that one-week wonder and great white hope AJ Feeley threw, um, four interceptions, each of them utterly back-breaking, all of them entirely his fault. But when you're a Masstermind, you just dig a little deeper than most people. You find out the reason why.

It couldn't be that Feeley, who now has 7 interceptions in his last 8 quarters as the Eagles QB, locks into his primary receiver like a mentally deficient child staring at a shiny thing, then throws the ball in that direction no matter what. After all, that worked out just fine against the Patriots, who are The Forty Five Best Humans To Ever Walk The Earth.

It can't also be that unless the QB is very safe with the ball in this style of offense, the other team catches a lot of interceptions (see McMahon, Mike, or Favre, Brett), and that this is one of the quiet but profound strengths of Donovan McNabb, who has very low career INT rates. (And yes, Eagles fans complain about the balls that miss being too low for the receiver, because too high is clearly much, much better.)

No, what led me to my breakthrough was examining the differences between the two games. Not that Seattle has a pass-covering LB (Lofa Tatupu) who can run from sideline to sideline quickly, unlike NE LB Junior Seau, who more or less uses his veteran presence to exert a winning aura, instead. Nor could it be that Seattle had a week of film to watch in which Feeley stared down his primary as if Hyp-Mo-Tized. No, the key difference was on... the Eagles' sideline.

Last week, Donovan McNabb didn't make the flight to New England.

This week, he was on the sidelines... *infecting* Feeley with his Unleadership Virus.

That towel around his neck alone must have cost the Eagles at least two picks. And I'm pretty sure he was feeding our man Chunky Soup after the game. At least, I read that on the Internets, which is to say, I just read it on this page.

So, all of you who wanted Feeley to be your new QB, take heart and stand by your man (and our President). Stay the course, like a true Masstermind!