This Jimmie Will Make You Submit

When last we left our favorite small college, the Jimmies of Jamestown College in North Dakota, they were bursting through their conference and refusing to be denied in the manly art of college football.

That's all well and good; we can all see how it takes some major pipe to have gridiron success. But what do our wondering eyes do perceive... but the existence of Lady Jimmies... getting scholarships for wrestling?

Not to go all royal on you here, but we're not sure how to take this news. Should we be oddly aroused, in a good-looking American Gladiator / UFC / WWE Diva sort of way.... or just completely terrified?

As it seems the Jimmies are importing Hawaiian spam-eaters (I know of what I speak here, my fellow haoles), it seems to split right down the middle. As with many things in this world, weight will decide many things, and liquor will be the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Upon further review, we welcome our new Artic Overpeople (see how I avoided the whole lords / ladies thing there? that's good PR), and wish them well as they defray the high cost of a quality Dakotan education in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Singlet.

Distaff Wrestling Jimmies, show us your love! (But first, it would probably help an awful lot if you got us drunk. And greasy.)