Celts-Pistons Game 4: Two Two Two Bagger

Tonight in Detroit, the Eastern Conference Finals went back to form, with a two-bagger game. That's one where you put a bag on her face, and one on yours, just in case hers falls off. The Pistons never trailed, and won 94-75. This series is tied at 2.

Do not believe any analyst who tells you how chock full of drama this game was. Detroit couldn't get separation, but unless you are a Pistons or Celtics fan, this was just too slop-tastic to sustain interest.

How ugly was it? Half of Boston's points, for most of the night, came from the line. The best point guard on the floor might have been Lindsay Hunter, in that no one expects him to be anything but terrible. ESPN's analysts, despite this being a game that was absolutely crucial to whether or not the series was going to go long, were actually talking about the Florida Marlins and Tampa Rays. The biggest plays involved flops. Kevin Garnett was badly outplayed by Antonio McDyess. Every possession involved bodies on the floor. We saw copious amounts of Big Baby Davis and Theo Ratliff. I really wanted to turn it off. And I love hoop.

Anyway, the big play was Chauncey Billups finally doing something good with 2:53 left, as he hit the first (!) Pistons three-pointer of the night, which gave Detroit a 10-point lead. Given that the Celtics offense in this one consisted of driving into the lane and falling down while giving the referees an evil look, that was massive. But if Detroit wants to win the best-of-3 that this series has boiled down to, he's going to have to show up in the first 45 minutes, too.

If you are a Pistons fan, maybe you take solace in your bigs -- McDyess and the strong bench work of Jason Maxiell, who also completely punked Garnett on a hustle block in the first half -- and the fact that you shot 51% from the floor. As I've said before, when Detroit plays at a high level, they've got more ceiling than Boston. Also noted: despite getting badly outshot at the line, the Pistons' only technical tonight was for Coach Flip Saunders.

For the Celtics, the night was summed up by Ray Allen missing two free throws with two minutes left when they desperately needed them. Look, there isn't much that Allen does at this point that is at an NBA level, but shooting free throws is something that he's among the best in the Association at. By missing those, he failed to take any of the rush out of the Pistons' closing run that made the final score seem a lot easier than it was. Their Big 3 shot 11 of 38 from the floor. Gahhh.

After watching a game like that, you don't really want to pick a winner for the final three games. You just want to go back to watching the Lakers and Spurs, public access notices, or German scat porn.

Game Five is Wednesday in Boston. Can't say I'm looking forward to it.