Friday, May 9, 2008

Top 10 Questions for My Train Station Preacher

10. Why does your concern for our souls going into Hell strongly correlate to dry weather?

9. If someone were to walk over to the other side of the platform and deliver an address on the unlikelihood of finding salvation from a random person delivering a canned speech, would you be able to practice true Christian forgivenes?

8. Really, you're here to save us from the eternal pit -- why so angry?

7. How screwed, really, are the people who drive or take the bus to work?

6. Is there a special circle of Hell for people who would rather not start the day with screaming?

5. Are preachers who work in actual buildings, in your opinion, sellouts?

4. Can your love for us only manifest itself from a safe distance, where no one can, say, toss you onto the track?

3. If Cleanliness is next to Godliness, should I be concerned about the veracity of your teachings?

2. Is it a coincidence that your appearances seem to increase with the coming of the Presidential election?

1. Are you sure that Hell isn't just a place where my train never comes, and you and I can never leave?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was he at the station again this morning? I saw him there the other day as well. I think the fascist station operators threw him out of the station building and made him stay on the other side of the tracks.

DMtShooter said...

No, he wasn't around today. A darn shame, too -- I really was receptive to his message today.

I'm pretty sure it's his choice to be on the Trenton bound side. Much more captive audience.