Epic Drop: Top 10 Lesser Known Modern MLB Local Opening Day Traditions

I can't get enough of Brett Myers. Whether it's public awfulness with the wife, spelling bees with the media, or his periodic meltdowns despite having more pure stuff of any Phillies righthander in my memory (and yes, that includes Bloggy McBloggermouth in Boston -- he was good, but mostly at throwing strikes, rather than having otherworldly nastiness)... well, the man's a walking, talking guarantee that the team won't be likable or clutch.

During his meltdown inning today, here's the better moments of an IM conversation I was having with a Phillies fan...

Me: disaster inning for Mrs Myers

(We'll call my buddy DH): yes - hide the dog

DH: put the steak in the freezer

DMt: There's a reason why we're not play by play for the Fightin's.

DH: We'd be great!

DH: Hide the dog Whitey!

DMt: "That 2-2 meatball had t-a-r-d spelled all over it. Hard to believe."

DH: "Sometimes you just can't catch a break"

DMt: "And Myers' ERA has just fallen down the steps. Clumsy bitch ERA!"

DH: You suck Brett!

DMt: "This call to the police has been brought to you by Planned Parenthood. Think, Girls, Think."

(end)

Sure that Hamels wasn't the better way to start your season, Fightin's?